Opinion: I’m not your boyfriend, baby

Kyle Lindemann

Kyle Lindemann

Kyle Lindemann is a senior communications major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].

Having a girlfriend in college is like going to a buffet and coming back to your table with only a plateful of grilled chicken. I don’t know about you, but why not enjoy all that there is to offer while you’re here, at least for a semester or two? At Kent State, demand is high and supply is low. Take full advantage of it.

If you happen to have a girlfriend you really love and enjoy being with, stay with her. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it,” as the saying goes. You know your situation better than I do. This advice may not apply to everyone, but don’t pass up the opportunity to experiment with your physical boundaries, because that is one of the best parts about going to college.

I didn’t start writing this column every week because I wanted to make friends. If you haven’t come to the realization that love, at least in these college years, is very much a game, you are sadly mistaken. And if you don’t realize this, you will get squashed.

I am not writing this to be cynical; I’m just telling it like it is. I’ve had some fun, committed relationships of my own, but when in Rome I do as the Romans do. What I wanted to do was share my experiences, what has/hasn’t worked for me in the past, pass on the torch to the next generation and to hopefully give some of you ladies out there a better understanding of a guy’s point of view.

Some guys need to start abiding by the “keep the top two buttons in your button-up or polo shirt unbuttoned” rule. You aren’t going to stir up any butterflies with the ladies when you look like you just got done hanging out with Screech at a chess match.

Don’t look so uptight. I hear guys say all the time: “Well, I don’t wanna look like I’m trying too hard.” Are you kidding me, man? Dress for success. You’re out to meet girls, not to care about what other dudes think. Are you out so you can go home with them at the end of the night? I think not.

When you do meet a girl who doesn’t have up more walls than Fort Knox, you can be yourself. If you’re interested in her you have to think of it like holding a dove in your hands: you don’t want to hold it so tightly you crush it, but you also don’t want to hold it so loosely it flies away.

I don’t think I’ve ever proposed that a guy should be barbaric and treat women with disrespect. I interviewed plenty of women before this column launched, and most of them admitted that they want their man to be a balance of jerk and nice guy. If anyone thinks that I promote the mistreatment and disrespect of women, they are clearly misguided. It really is a jungle out there, and if you give a girl your heart on the first day, you will pay the price.