In today’s fast-paced digital society, miscommunication and lack of intimate bonding moments can put strain on any relationship. From quality time to physical touch, the Five Love Languages have positively impacted student relationships at Kent State.
To find a love language, participants take a quiz with questions that are extensions of the languages. The results sort people into five categories: Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time and Physical Touch, states the official Five Love Languages website.
“The highest score indicates your primary love language,” according to the Five Love Languages website. “It’s not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you.”
Gary Chapman, the creator of the love languages used his degrees in anthropology and religious studies as well as his experience as a pastor and marriage counselor as inspiration for the love languages.
“Each person gives and receives love in a certain language and speaking it will strengthen all your relationships,” Chapman said. For singles, college students and dating couples, that means you can understand yourself and others better, grow closer to family, friends and others you care about, gain courage to express your emotions and affection, discover the missing ingredient in past relationships, date more successfully.”
Madeline Franz, junior entrepreneur major, uses love languages to help her relationships.
“Once each person understands the other’s language relationships become stronger,” Franz said. “I have an ex-boyfriend and we explained our love languages to each other. We understood each other a lot better.”
Michelle Rivard, sophomore sociology major, uses the languages to help better not only romantic relationships, but also platonic ones as well.
“It does help me understand other people and other friends better,” Rivard said. “My top one [love language] is spending time with people. So I’ve been trying to spend time with my friends and not act like I don’t need to be around people.”
Even though she hasn’t told her friends about the Five Love Languages, Rivard said she has noticed a difference in her own actions.
“I haven’t told people about it, but I have been hanging out with people a lot more,” Rivard said.
Franz also uses the Five Love Languages to better understand herself and has figured out little acts of service that help her bond with others.
“Mine [love language] is acts of service,” Franz said. “So to me, that means just doing little things that make my life easier. Like ‘Oh, you want to turn my car on to warm it up for work’ or ‘you know I like my tea a certain way then make it for me.'”
Although the Five Love Languages have positively affected her, Rivard said she sees limitations within the categories. She believes people are more fluid in the ways they express and want to receive love.
“People are too diverse to only be categorized into five cohorts,” Rivard said.
Franz says she believes love languages allow for simple and smooth communication in a relationship. She also believes the topic itself is easy to bring up to others.
“Most people are really receptive to it it’s not too heavy or deep of a topic unless you want to make it,” Franz said. “So you can kind of do it in a light and fun way so it’s not too serious.”
Kody Elsayed covers relationships. Contact him at [email protected]