BSR Beats: Emo Prom

Come with me on a nostalgic musical journey back to a simpler time, one that smells like hormones and hairspray. Your retainer locks against his braces, and the two of you never speak of it again. Happy prom season, everyone!

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“Shut Me Up” -Mindless Self Indulgence

Picture this: It’s 2007, you’re 15 years young, and things are looking up for you. Jeffree Star accepted your friend request on MySpace, and your mom finally let you dye your hair three different colors. Not to mention, it’s the night of your first high school dance. You’re so excited, decked out in head-to-toe Hot Topic (with approximately 8 million bracelets from Spencer’s on each arm, of course). You turn on MSI as you line your eyes in black for the third time. This will be the best prom ever!

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“Dance, Dance” – Fall Out Boy

After your mom drops you off at the dance in her red minivan, you make a beeline for your crew. It’s easy to find them, all black, red and neon in the sea of preppy pastels — they’re the only authentic people here. Your BFF Jesus (real name: Jonathan) already requested this Fall Out Boy staple at the DJ booth. Your crew glares at all the preps grinding to Akon and Gwen Stefani as you wait for your song to come on. When it does, you all run to the dance floor, and jump up and down like it’s on fire!

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“Curse of Curves” – Cute is What We Aim For

You look across the room and notice the hottest boy in school: Jeff Mickey, the kid with two first names!! Gawd, he’s so gorgeous with his Pete Wentz hair and his stick and poke tattoos (violating the dress code — how hot is that?!) As you get butterflies in your stomach, you hear “Curse of Curves” play in your head. You need to get the courage to ask him to dance with you.

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“Stripper Friends” – Tila Tequila

You sit down by the punch bowl and check your sticker-covered Blackberry. Oh look, a notification. Of course you have MySpace notifications sent directly to your phone; you’re not some amateur. Wait, Tila Tequila just added you! This gives you the perfect idea: You need to channel the Queen of MySpace! Immediately, you dash off to the bathroom to make sure your eyeliner isn’t running and that your hair is still perfectly straightened within an inch of its life. Just as expected, you look like a cross between a raccoon and a streetwalker.

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“Misery Business” – Paramore

Now, back to talk to your crush! You’re all pumped up and feeling great as you’re scanning the room for him. He’s not on the dance floor, but of course he’s not, they’re playing a Fergie song. Your eyes glance to the coat rack, and you catch a glimpse of his perfect, shiny hair. You’re walking toward him when suddenly some prep named Heather McJennifer beats you to it. Wait, why does he look like he’s into her? Why is he smiling? He can’t like her; she’s on the cheerleading squad! They start locking lips in the middle of the room, and you are immediately over it. You might dress trashy, but tongue hockey in front of the entire student body is still too much for you. As you sashay in the opposite direction, you wonder if you should sit next to him in algebra like you usually do. (He got held back a year.) You decide against it. “Second Chances, they don’t ever matter. People never change.”

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“I’m Not Okay” – My Chemical Romance

You decide that you’re not going to let some jerk ruin your night. You assure yourself that you’ve got a lot going for you being that you just got elected secretary of the anime club and you only have to wear your retainer for three more months. You tell your BFF what happened and he says “rawr” (which means “I love you” in dinosaur). He then tells you that you need to have a mini pity party and cues the MCR. He knows you so well, and you can’t help but notice how cute he looks all dressed up.

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“Make Damn Sure” – Taking Back Sunday

Prom is over, and you’re not sad at all anymore. Well, at least not on the outside. Being an emo kid means always having a little bit of a bummer on the inside. Even with all that angst, you manage to have an amazing night. You and your friends head to Cosmic Bowling and then Steak ‘n Shake for fries and milkshakes. You get two strikes, make tons of Invader Zim references and even take a new cute profile pic. When your best friend drives everyone home in his dad’s Sedan, he makes a point to drop you off last. You look at each other, the tension builds, and he leans in to kiss you! Your lips touch and then…