Ask Mel: Guy Troubles

Melissa Puppo

Dear Mel,

    Lately I’ve been having guy troubles. Two guys have been on my mind.

    The first one is the guy I’ve been crushing on since the beginning of the year. For a long time, I really liked this guy who is in my same major.

We’ve talked a couple times last semester. He’s super nice and we always say hi to each other. After a while, I saw him hanging out with his friends. Everything seemed fine, except he acted totally different. He was being an idiot with them. I started hearing rumors from friends saying to back out and to try not to fall in love with him.

    Well Mel, I did exactly what they told me not to do. I felt like I could change something about this guy to like me. I learned fast that he would rather be a jerk around his friends. His attitude had an on and off switch. Mel, the sad thing is that I still have feelings for him. I can’t get the amazing conversations we had out of my head.

    The second one is my best friend. I’m having a tough time deciding what I should do. We hang out all the time and I know we have each other’s back. I’m too scared to tell him because I know it would ruin the friendship.

I’m even scared telling my other friends because who knows what will slip. He has jokingly told me that I’m not his type. I often think, “what if I am?” I want him to know that he’s the guy worth fighting for. I really do love him. Maybe I’m only thinking about this because of our close bond. Is it because we are so close as friends? Do I ruin the friendship?

    I go back and forth about both these two guys constantly. Do I pick one over the other? Is the first guy even worth it? Is the second one risking everything I have?

         Please help me Mel!

                              — Guy Troubles


Contact Melissa Puppo at [email protected].

Dear Guy Troubles,

    It sounds like you are in quite a predicament — but don’t worry, there are two simple solutions.

    Let’s start with guy #1. He seems like he can be quite a catch for you based on what you said above, but I think you need to get to know him better before you decide that you’re “in love” with him. I know guys might tend to act differently when they’re with their friends. Let’s face it — boys will be boys, but don’t let what you see him do or say when he’s with his best buds deter you.

What I think you need to do is get to know this guy more. Try and study together for a class, or maybe start by hanging with him and his other friends and go to lunch. If he has done anything to make you look at him differently, just remember not everyone’s perfect.

    For guy #2 that’s a bit tricky only because he’s joked about you not being his type. I’d say for now, wait on this one. It seems like you both are super close, and if you’re trying for guy #1 then try a little bit longer before you decide otherwise. You’ll know when it’s time for you to make the move to start discussing if you and guy #2 are more than just friends.

    Just remember to stay open and have fun. When the time comes, it will happen with either, or you might find another great guy and forget about these two.

                       XO — Mel