Ask Mel: Falling for a new guy

Melissa Puppo

Dear Mel,

What should I do if I find myself interested in another guy when I have been in a relationship now for almost a year? I know it’s wrong to think about us breaking up, but I just can’t help but wonder. Help!

         — K.I.


Melissa Puppo

Dear K.I.,

It’s perfectly normal to be in a relationship and occasionally catch butterflies while talking to someone else —whether you’re physically attracted to this person or just hanging out with someone new who you click with. A few things need to be thought over before you even think about ditching your current man.

First things first! How much are you “falling” for this new love interest? Do you just find this person attractive, or do you actually have valid reasons for moving on? Valid reasons including that you laugh and smile more when you are with him, you can talk to him about everything, you constantly think about him, and he brings something new and exciting to your life that you’ve never felt before.

Or, is this just an infatuation with a “hot” guy? Sadly, although it’s fun, it’s not worth it, especially if you are in a long-term relationship. Curiosity is normal, but you are obviously still with your boyfriend for a reason!

What’s important to think about is where you see your current relationship a year from now … or three years from now?

If you see your current boyfriend happily in your life, then that means you believe in what you have. No need to think differently at all. Don’t let a good-looking fellow distract you because there are many attractive men in the world, and you can’t let this happen each time you find someone else good-looking; you need to be happy with YOUR man.

      XO – Mel

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