Opinion: Smoking joking



Jake Crissman

Jake Crissman

Jake Crissman is a sophomore English major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].

Am I the only who sees a university wide smoking ban as absolutely insane and unreasonable? Clearly the advocates of this idea are those types of assholes who like to stick their fat noses into everybody else’s business and to tell them how they should live their lives. Go away, you pretentious holier-than-thou scumbags; we don’t need your bullshit around here.

The Ohio Board of Regents approved a resolution recommending that each board of trustees of the University System of Ohio consider implementing its own policy to establish its campus as tobacco-free. Already, several Ohio schools have banned smoking across campus, including Miami University. Kent State has been surveying and gathering opinions of university staff, officials, students and the public to see if it should go smoke-free.

James Tuschman, who chaired the Ohio Board of Regents at the time, said “statistics prove that a smoke-free campus significantly curbs the smoking habits of students, faculty and staff to make campuses healthier environments,” and that banning smoking on campuses is “the right thing to do.”

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were taking the moral high ground and in fact doing the right thing. Yeah, because it’s totally OK to say, “Um, hey guys, you can’t do what you want to anymore. No, we won’t allow it. Yeah, a bunch of us got together and decided that what you are doing is wrong, so we want to ban it. What? How could that possibly be a violation of your personal freedom? No, it’s totally different from that because the smoke that you’re sucking is giving everyone cancer. So we’re trying to stop cancer. Once we stop people from smoking, then no one will get cancer anymore.” Derp!

“Healthier environments?” Really? So it’s okay to go ahead and ban smoking, which is virtually not an issue if you don’t smoke, but you’ll continue to sell literally the worst food to students. When I’m in a dining hall, it’s hard for me not to picture everyone as a hog being fattened up for slaughter, shoveling around in mud and shit, eating fried this with a side of fried that and guzzling down a 24-ounce sugary sweet soda pop. Pop, pop, pop goes the weasel, and so does your belt along with your buttons because — guess what — now you’re an enormous monstrosity with a heart condition and high cholesterol because no one gives a shit about what really matters.

Ohio already has a law in place that bans smoking in any public place or workplace — including bars, the one place where it was always OK to smoke. Isn’t that good enough? When I was growing up, you were always asked “smoking or non-smoking?” when you went to a restaurant. But now that question has been completely eradicated. Now you have to go outside to have a smoke during your fine dining experience, and if you do, you still get berated by the people making their way into the restaurant that give you dirty looks and obnoxiously fake-cough trying to prove the point that they’re better than you.

I don’t smoke. Sure, I’ll have an occasional cigarette here and there with a friend at a party or something, but I wouldn’t consider myself a smoker. However, just because I don’t smoke, that doesn’t justify any grounds for me to dictate how others should live their lives. If you enjoy smoking, then you should have every right to continue to light up. If you’re someone who doesn’t smoke but thinks that no one should be able to smoke because it’s harmful, gross, or whatever else, then you should mind your own damn business.