Opinion: The sound of settling

Opinion: I don’t care about your kid

Anthony Russo

One can even see dating and marriage through an economic or mathematical lens. That may bother some of you — and don’t worry, it bothers me too — but it’s truth in a sense. The people we date are “potential opportunities of random quality,” and by delaying the decision on a mate we incur significant costs — loneliness, judgment from friends and family, etc.

Think of the sheer odds. There are how many billions of people on Earth? And you think your soul mate is going to come from the pool of a few hundred or thousand people that you’ve interacted with?

This may come across as dismal, but think about why you are single or in a relationship. If you are single, it could be because you choose to be. That’s cool, but once you’ve entered the dating “market” you decide whether or not to stay with your significant other based on whether or not searching for another mate is worth giving up what you have.

And maybe what you have is a beautiful sweet passionate love. Who am I to judge? I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade. You can’t just wander the globe finding the absolute perfect match. The person you end up with for the rest of your life should have desirable qualities that make you happy each and every day. But that love is most likely a product of search theory, and those wedding bells you hear on the big day is the sound of settling.