A good friend of mine is the maid of honor for one of the above-mentioned weddings. I suppose I never really thought about the importance of bridesmaid dresses until I heard about her dress-shopping endeavor. Then it hit me: as a trained economist and member of the male community, I can’t fathom spending a couple of hundred dollars on something I will never wear more than once.

Then there’s the hall, decorations, favors, cake, etc. As a man, I would be lying if I didn’t have some idea of what my wedding would look like. But I’m flexible. Keep it simple; make it look good. Something that looks good doesn’t have to be expensive. I won’t speak for those levelheaded, budget-conscious women, but those “bridezillas” need to come back down to Earth.

A $50,000 wedding comes with a cost — and not just 50 grand. Think of the opportunity cost of that wedding! I’d rather have a $30,000 wedding, and take the $20,000 and put it toward a down payment on a house, or to pay off some debt. Maybe this isn’t the most romantic way to look at a wedding, but if you’re going to spend the money, put it to good use.

And don’t even get me started on gift registries. Write me a check, and I’ll be happy. Cash has the most utility of any gift. But again, it’s not “romantic,” and the economic losses of utility from gift giving are a whole other column.

I’m pro-wedding. If someone is dumb enough to marry me, I’ll have one someday. But in the meantime, I can’t help but be a little cynical. Rest assured; however, that on the big day I’ll shut my mouth and have a shot with the groom.