Opinion: Nice guys don’t get girls

Kyle Lindemann

Kyle Lindemann

Kyle Lindemann is a senior communications major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].

Being a nice guy is kind of like believing in Communism. In theory it sounds like this great, admirable idea to feel good about, but when you try to implement it you realize that it fails miserably. Like sharks with blood, women can sniff out weakness in a guy faster than Parking Services can find a car to put a ticket on.

Don’t come rushing in with guns blazing ready to give her your heart. It must be a subtle attempt. Don’t be emotional. Be like the poker player who plays his hand coolly. Give her compliments, but let them be rare. Let her see that you care about her through your actions, and then down the road you can let your feelings out.

I am not at all telling you to treat girls poorly, but be the strong, silent type. Stand your ground and make her feel like you could walk away at any minute. It’s always easier to be hard in the beginning and in time ease up than it is to be that sweet, overbearing nice guy and then think that you’re going to wear the pants down the road, because you won’t.

Rejection should never be taken personally. If a girl isn’t into you, she isn’t into you. In this life, you can’t make anybody love you. You can’t force her to want you. The magic is either there or it isn’t. If it isn’t, don’t let it ruin your day. There are other women out there.

Think of it like playing quarterback: don’t be that quarterback who forces the ball down the middle of the field into triple coverage on 3rd & 15. Just throw the ball out of bounds and punt. Wait for a better opportunity. I’m a big believer in working hard to get what you want in life, but not when it comes to relationships.

In most instances, relationships should come naturally. If you’re out there running around and trying to get with a girl by having to jump through more hoops than a collie at the dog show, something is wrong. You should show some effort in the beginning, but you should never have to convince a girl to be with you. She either wants to be with you or she doesn’t. Why should you have to beg?

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Always be yourself, but first know who you are. Know where you want to go. Know what you want. If you don’t, that’s okay, just devote some time to figure it out.

Women are naturally attracted to a guy who is confident and well composed. Women like to fall in love with a man’s potential. They can’t help themselves, they just can’t. A lot of women feel the need to bring out the best in a man. Why do you think that the jerks usually get the girl everyone wants? It’s no accident. By you putting on a good, hard poker face in the beginning, she will find fulfillment in trying to break you down and turn you into a nice guy.