Opinion: We’re no longer friends (send & defriend)

Seth Cohen

Seth Cohen

Seth Cohen is a senior magazine journalism major. Contact him at [email protected]

I’m writing about this because it happens to be very funny, very unnecessary and at the same time, very pathetic. A few years back, I was dating a girl for at least three months, and when it wasn’t going so well, she broke up with me via a text message. To make matters worse, I was at Subway with some friends, a big bite of tuna in my mouth. I said out loud “what the f$%#?” I couldn’t enjoy my sub.

Bear in mind, we lived in the same town back in Chicago and if memory serves, she lived at least four miles away. Now, I wasn’t so much upset about the breakup as much as I was upset that it was done in a text, and not in person. Repeat: It was not in person. I think it’s safe to say that a breakup or a serious discussion about something very sensitive should be discussed face to face. No, I don’t think, I know.

A few years later, the same thing happened again, only this time, it wasn’t just over text. This person decided to delete me as a friend on Facebook. This made me think she meant business, and shit got real.

Normally, to back up my stories, I would find sources of information, but truth be told, there are none that I can find. It’s probably because no one wants to do research on someone using technology to break up, or end a friendship or anything of the sort because it’s stupid.

So, let’s talk about a hypothetical person. For this person’s protection, we’ll just call this person “Mr. M” (for anyone who’s seen “Arrested Development,” this is the opposite of Mr. F). Mr. M, and people like Mr. M, believe it’s all right to end a troubling discussion that either involves financial or crucially devastating information over an electronic device or social network.

Now, before I continue, I’m going to tell a little side story. When I was 18, I kept getting all these nosebleeds that would last 4 hours almost every day. I saw a doctor who did some tests. The next day, I get a call from my doctor, telling me to come into his office, I ask what the problem is and he said, “This is something to be discussed in person, not over the phone, please and thank you.” He told me, in person, that I have a rare genetic blood disease called von Willebrand Disease. The message was he had to tell me in person. Why can’t it be like this for people who aren’t doctors?

Mr. M thinks by not actually making the effort, everything will fall into place as it should. Truth be told, Mr. M made more people angry by this type of communication and now is simply thought of as a wussy.

So, for those who need to talk about something serious, or need to break up with your former loved one, please, be human. Have a heart. Even though it may be painful, it’s simply the right and best way to get your message across. Mr. M, you’ve still got the chance to make amends.