(Not so) reality shows

Kelsey Misbrener

Channel surfing these days is like visiting a circus freak show. On one channel, you catch a glimpse of a bunch of incoherent hillbillies trying to shoot an alligator in the face in the show “Swamp People.” You quickly change the channel and see an 8-year-old with a drag queen’s amount of makeup on her face in “Toddlers in Tiaras.”

“I straight told my mom they’re running out of shit to put on TV,” said freshman exploratory major Maria Mulgrew, who has been disillusioned by television lately.

Some of the most pathetic shows, Mulgrew said, are ‘The Bachelor Pad” and “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.”

The people on “The Bachelor Pad” are just the rejects from “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” and people who messed up big time, Mulgrew said.

“They group up and have sex. Good old-fashioned American television,” Mulgrew said. “That’s all we really watch these days.”

vIn “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant,” “They usually have babies in the toilet because they think they have to poop, and then there’s a baby,” Mulgrew said. “It’s really the same thing every time.”

vAnother ridiculous reality show is ABC’s “Wipeout,” Shashawna Washington, junior fashion merchandising major, said.

“Wipeout” is a show where contestants compete in crazy obstacle courses in hopes of winning a hefty sum of money.

“They have these big bunnies that are flopping back and forth, and they have to jump through them,” Washington said. “They hit their heads, and they don’t even have helmets.”

Some less eventful reality shows can prove to be equally ridiculous, said Billy Grimm, freshman communications major.

Shows like “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” and “Jersey Shore” disgust him.

“It’s amazing how in America you can get paid millions for being stupid,” Grimm said.

Gone are the days of family-friendly sitcoms with a wholesome message at the end of every episode. Now are the days of skanky bleach-blonde moms throwing temper tantrums because they have to miss a nail appointment to take their child to school in shows like “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.” All we can hope for is that they’re not here to stay.

Contact Kelsey Misbrener at [email protected].