Opinon: NFL: Locked out



Dylan Lusk

Dylan Lusk

Dylan Lusk is a sophomore Electronic Media Production major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected]

As I write this on my break from work, I’m staring at a case of Bud Light. But not just any Bud Light — these are commemorative 2011 NFL Draft aluminum bottles. I’m surprised that these aren’t flying off the shelves. After all, this year’s NFL draft has so much more potential than the past drafts.

Okay, so maybe it isn’t any different, but this is what we have to look forward to with an NFL lockout in the future. At a quick glance, it seems like the NFL lockout only directly affects players and fans, but it goes further than that.

Through my time working at a beer distributor, I’ve caught on that many people will buy anything with an NFL logo on it. Luckily the folks at Anheuser-Busch caught on to this quickly and still found a way to profit through the lockout.

I find it a little bit sad that most Americans will base their purchases off of which football team is on the product. I can accept this behavior from Southerners buying Jeff Gordon dish soap, but the entire country is sick with this fever.

The lockout could crush businesses everywhere. Beer distributors will be empty on Sundays, and supermarkets won’t be a hellhole of wives buying industrial-sized chips and salsa. You know those stores that exclusively sell home-team memorabilia? Say goodbye to those.

No longer will your Monday nights be spent at the bar watching football, drinking beers and striking out with women. This year, your Monday nights will be spent at the bar watching reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond,” drinking beers and striking out with women.

Some of you may be reading this and be thinking, “I don’t watch football; this doesn’t affect me.” That’s what I thought too. But there’s more to it than that. What about cheerleaders? Who’s going to look at them now? And that’s not even the start of it.

Maybe you’re like me and you’re a compulsive gambler. You’re going to get bored pretty quick with scratch-offs. At least with football you have to wait a while to see if you won before betting again. I can clear a scratch-off in four seconds and have another one in my hand in 10. That’s a great way to empty your wallet fast.

There may also be some of you thinking you can easily live without the NFL season this year, but you can’t. No football season means that your Sundays are probably going to be spent having conversations with your significant other. Sure, you could always avoid that, but only by doing yard work or getting extra hours at work.

It’s a catch-22. Maybe this lockout is just foreshadowing the end of the world in 2012. Whatever is going on, I don’t expect any survivors after this “season.”