Let’s talk about sex


Speaker and author Hasani Pettiford talks to Kent State students on race, dating, sex and marriage. “Today is built on yesterday, and tomorrow is built on today,” said Pettiford. Author of eight books including Why We Hate Black Women, and Why We Should Love Them and Black Thighs, Black Guys & Bedroom Lies, has spent 12 years learning about the intricacies of relationships and traveling speaking on why it is important to build a strong emotional and intellectual relationship before having sex. Photo by Sam Verbulecz.

Ryan Collins

A speaker on sex urged students to focus on partners’ passions, desires and pursuits rather than their body during a lecture Tuesday called “Campus Sex: The Truth Revealed.”

“If sex is the main focus of our communication, then that means that we know more about each others’ breasts, hips, vaginas, penises, thighs and all of those things,” Hasani Pettiford said.

The event in Oscar Ritchie Hall was sponsored by student group Harambee as part of this week’s Pan-African Festival.

Pettiford talked about sexual and racial issues and related them to college and university campus life.

“Being a former student myself, I know how sex and relationships significantly impact the lives of college students,” he said.

The president of Harambee agreed that romance is important at school.

“Looking at the aspect of romantic relationships is a big thing on college campuses,” President Kimberly Miller said.

“We thought that it would be good for us to have an event that talked about a way to approach relationships that was healthy,” she said.

Pettiford discussed what he called “four seasons” of a relationship: dating, committed courtship, engagement and marriage.

He also discussed sex and when he thinks it is appropriate.

“You’re giving this brother all your treats, right, you’re having sex and giving him all your benefits. I mean, it takes 90 days for the benefits to kick in on a job, and you’re giving him all your benefits on day one,” Pettiford said.

The event was sparsely attended, giving audience members a chance to speak directly with Pettiford.

Lauren Mullin, freshman fashion merchandising major, said she was at the event for a class requirement. However, she said she thought she could benefit by attending the lecture.

“I think it’s important to go to different events and do different things outside of the class that involve the class,” she said.

Pettiford also talked about the dangers of sexual activity in his lecture. He asked whether audience members knew anyone who had died from something after having a sexual experience.

“Every individual that you engage in sex with outside of a committed, monogamous relationship should really be looked at as a potential murderer because it could be him or her to be the very one to take you out of here.”

Contact Ryan Collins at [email protected]