Girls say chivalry is in a “coma”


Photo Illustration by Thomas Song.

Bre Vozar

It is becoming more popular for college guys to ask girls to “hang out” rather than taking the time to take them out on a date.

Suzanne Holt, lecturer in the Women’s Studies Program, said although there may be a gentleman every now and then, she believes chivalry is in a “coma.”

“I think that when chivalry existed, it existed in a context,” Holt said. “The point of chivalry was that love was hard to obtain. The man had to be heroic and the woman was a point of a quest.”

Some guys may be afraid of rejection, or they could want nothing more than a friend with benefits. Either way, girls would like more dates, and guys just aren’t having it.

Halie Morgan, freshman exploratory major, said she thinks guys want girls to do all the work.

“I think it’s just a complex for them,” Morgan said. “They can’t expect you to form any sort of relationship at a frat house. Then they always want you to go home with them.”

Morgan agrees that “hanging out” generally means guys are just looking to hook up, but girls don’t understand why they don’t call them or talk to them afterwards.

Alternatives to “hanging out and watching movies”:

– Study together

– Grab lunch

– Have a picnic

– $5 movie night

– Visit the zoo

– Explore museums

– Go to parks

“If you don’t respect yourself, you’re not going to get respect,” Morgan said.

Holt said parents have a lot to do with the lack of respect girls expect for themselves. They are not reminding their kids about the respect they should give and what they deserve.

“It’s been a while since girls have made respectability a serious topic of their own thought,” Holt said. “You have to do respectable things to get respect.”

Adam Giannini, sophomore business management major, agrees that although dating is too formal, when girls always “hang out” with guys, it definitely gives them a bad reputation.

“They may be just friends, but then again they may not be,” Giannini said.

Giannini said he has a girlfriend, but dating is more for “older people.”

“It’s kind of old-fashioned,” he said.

Holt said it is human nature to look for the best outcome for the least amount of work.

“There’s an understanding that there are lot of women out there that are bargains,” Holt said. “The guys will not pay for something they can get for free.”

Senior accounting major Asia Howard said she believes a lot of guys don’t go on dates because of the economy.

“I don’t think that girls should hang out and watch a movie for a first date because it puts them in a place where inappropriate things could happen,” Howard said. “If it’s one of the first times hanging out, it’s not a good idea to go over to their house. It’s different if you’ve known them.”

Howard said guys who only want to hang out at home, and usually at night, are seen as players. If they don’t want to do any other activities, then it’s not a good situation in the long run.

“Guys need to put forth more effort,” Howard said.

Holt said she advises girls to do their part in correcting this problem and stand their ground for what they believe they deserve.

“A lot of it comes down to a clarity, knowing what you want,” Holt said. “Principles are tested and if you yourself don’t know where you stand, your principles are going to fail you.”

Holt said to always respect your principles, and if guys don’t just get it, cut your losses. She said to back up your words with action.

For now, Holt said she only sees chivalry in the movies, which is where she expects it to stay.

“Chivalry is almost like a little dinosaur that somehow seemed to survive, but there’s nothing for it to eat; nothing for it to do,” Holt said. “It’s just a leftover from another time.”

Contact Bre Vozar at [email protected].