Opinion: No trophies given for good sex-manship



Sarahbeth Caplin

Sarabeth Caplin

Sarahbeth Caplin is a senior English major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected]

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines the word “prude” as, “a person who is excessively concerned about propriety and decorum.” Nowadays, it’s commonly used to insult anyone who doesn’t follow the current sexual norms. Somehow, both men and women have bought into the lie that the amount of sex you’re having – or not having – is a primary measure of validating your worth as a dating partner. Watch any TV show or listen to any popular song and the message is the same: bragging about your sex life is cool, and the “prude” label is as horrifying as a pregnancy scare.

It’s no secret that sex is amazing. However, calling someone out for choosing to abstain from a physical relationship by saying, “You must be jealous that you don’t get laid as often as I do!” proves absolutely nothing. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong with a person, that they aren’t attractive or that they are physically unable to “perform.” Whatever it means to the person who chooses not to engage in sex, it’s no one else’s business to pry or make judgments about it.

Maybe some people can’t imagine their lives without sex, but the truth is that no one ever died from a lack of it. Not every circumstance is right simply because the hormones demand it, and the world is not anywhere near experiencing a low population crisis where procreation is necessary.

Let’s be honest: sex is extremely easy to come by. There are clubs, bars, services and street corners devoted to satisfying that urge, and there are substances to help overcome short-comings that may interfere with one’s ability to “get laid.” Anyone can look attractive with a good pair of beer goggles; therefore, everyone is able to have sex if they want to. Many just choose not to.

It’s easy to have sex, but it’s not easy to make love. That is the only kind of sex that is worth bragging about. Why? Because true love is hard to come by in an age when the success rate for marriage is as high as the divorce rate.

If you’re going to brag about how often and how great your sex is, I don’t see the point in boasting about it unless it’s with someone who is fully committed to you. Why should anyone envy a promiscuous person if it’s so easy to be like that at any time? People who do have sex aren’t any better than those who choose not to, nor are those who choose to abstain any better than those who don’t. Therefore, feeling pity for those who aren’t doing it isn’t necessary. Don’t pity someone for their lack of bedroom action; pity someone if they lack the respect and self-esteem to hold out for someone who is looking for more than just a good time.

God forbid if anyone calls you a prude for thinking this way, well, there are a lot worse things to be in life.