Opinion: Where have all the good Martians gone?

Stefanie Romba

Men and women speak different languages. If you’ve ever heard of the book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” by John Gray, then this is a concept you should be familiar with. The book details the troubles that come with communication in relationships. And I’d like to know where all of the good Martians have gone.

In his book, Gray explains that in cross-gender communication, it is crucial to remember men were originally Martians and women were simply Venusians. Although we use the same words, our languages carry different meanings with those words. A man only discusses his problems when he needs help to solve it.

Otherwise, he remains in his “man cave” until he’s ready to come out. Women, on the other hand, always talk about their problems, often not seeking a solution at all.

Although Gray raises many good points about how to communicate through our lingual differences, the point seems moot.

Martians don’t hold the same principles regarding talking about their problems as they once did. They just don’t know when to shut up.

A Martian should express his woes only when he has exhausted the option to overcome his issues by himself. Don’t get me wrong. I love knowing a guy trusts me enough to open himself to me in very personal ways, but that’s only when I feel the same connection and in the right time and place. Just because Venusians are emotional creatures, doesn’t mean that’s what they want in a Martian. According to Gray, a Martian who receives too much assistance or receives it too soon will lose his sense of power, strength and dignity. It will make him insecure in the future. This quality is not appealing to Venusians.

A whole part of attraction to a Martian is the mystique he carries. If you pour your heart out to me on the first date, I think you’re more of an emotional mess than me, which is clearly bad. I’m also left with no desire to find out anything else about you. Venusians are looking for the Martians who are strong and independent, not the ones who need help putting their life together.

There is nothing wrong with weaknesses or vulnerabilities in a Martian. It makes you who you are, but I don’t need to be privy to your life struggles until we’ve established a bond that allows us to help each other through rough times.

Consider this a friendly piece of advice from across the solar system: grow a pair.

Stefanie Romba is a senior visual journalism major and design director for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected]