Opinion: There’s more to life than marriage



Cassandra Adams

Cassandra Adams

Cassandra Adams is a junior English major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected]

Although my shared apartment is littered with festive heart-shaped decorations and there are sugary snacks in the pantry, it doesn’t erase the fact that for single people, Valentine’s Day is a painstaking reminder that they don’t have a significant other.

And for those happily hitched couples, the holiday may be the charge their relationship (and, unfortunately, credit) may be in need of.

Either way, Hallmark and Godiva make out – no pun intended.

Even for the most strong, independent woman, the little stab at the heart can’t go unnoticed.

Offhand I know at least 15 beautiful, smart and single women wondering, “What the hell am I doing wrong?”

And who can blame them.

Is there a lack of eligible bachelors? Is it the fact that Kent’s girl to guy ratio is almost double, in favor of guys? Is it shows like Jersey Shore inspiring hair gel heavy tanaholics and alcoholics as role models for the male population?

Valentine’s Day has raised other thoughts about the whole relationship/marriage/family package.

Here in the Midwest, the fresh out of college 20-22 year olds seem more than willing to transition to the life of marriage and a family. Promised decades of growing old together and having someone to share “remember when” moments with would lure even the least romantic into submission.

Not to be a pessimist or feminist – go ahead and label me both- but if I hear one more woman say “the happiest day of my life” about their wedding day, I am going to scream. And we wonder why men run to the hills like deer in headlights, wide-eyed and scared, when they catch any word of commitment.

This is the 21st century, are you telling me that the happiest day of your life is getting married? Are graduating college, having a career and everything in between only a back burner, a wait list, to the end all Cinderella-esque fairy tale story of marriage and the perfect wedding day?

I always wondered what came after the marriage and honeymoon part, after all the frills and fun wore down. What happens when you are in your freshly decorated house and officially “settled down?” Is this the part where you are supposed to grow up, gain a few pounds, slowly forget you have any other friends, have another name attached to yours and pop out a couple kids?

I don’t mean to be a downer or come off as a marriage hater. I actually love weddings. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being excited to get married. It just leaves the lingering question as to whether accomplished, educated women have truly broken through stereotypical roles.

Maybe that single woman is finding her own way and willing to sacrifice the safety and security of a relationship to be an individual before joining a couple. And maybe that “perfect” couple is two individuals who have lost themselves in the security of a relationship. Or maybe there is such a thing as happily ever after.

Either way, celebrating it with your girlfriends, Sex and the City style, over cocktails and Chinese, with your boys over beer and Netflix or with your other half over a romantic dinner, have a Happy Valentines Day, a style unique to you – and don’t for one moment feel bad about it.