Fashion advice from the fashionless!

Prepare to be entertained and possibly outraged by these fashion tips born from the collaboration of two fashionably challenged young women (my roommate Rachel and myself). Some might say we’re not the best people to offer fashion advice; we’re the type of girls you see wandering around campus in oversized T-shirts and worn out jeans every day. We’re the type of girls who haven’t quite figured out how to use hair products effectively and usually resort to the “wash-and-wear” method. Oh yes, my roommate owns a pair of Shape-ups.

On the flip side, as girls who have observed fashion trends without participating, we can offer an outside interpretation of current fashion trends on campus. Unlike your chicken friends, we’re brave enough to tell you that all your favorite trends are, well, hideous. (Please remember it’s all in good fun, and don’t take our ridiculous ramblings to heart. Wear what you love, and remember, you probably have way more fashion sense than we do.)

Tights/leggings as pants – We just don’t understand this trend. It can’t be comfortable cavorting about campus in skin-tight leggings that show off absolutely every feature of your lower half. To be truthful, they are unflattering on most figures, whether you’re cut or curvy. Our suggestion: Go back to wearing them under a long shirt, skirt or dress. It’s a nice accent and doesn’t draw attention to your panty lines or lack thereof.

Rompers – Honestly, rompers make you look like a giant Cabbage Patch Kid. If you think men will be attracted to clothes reminiscent of your toddler years, go right ahead and rock these babies (pun intended.) Also, it seems to us that these hideous outfits too closely resemble the giant granny panties of the 50s. Oh yes, nothing says sexy quite like something your boyfriend’s grandma is probably still wearing. Our suggestion: just don’t. Ever.

Extreme “Bumpit” hairstyles – We don’t understand the obsession with bringing back fashion trends that for so long had been labeled hideous. Fashion of the 80s, we believe, should stay dead. This hairstyle is really just a modified beehive, and we wouldn’t be too surprised if a small family of rodents took up residence in this giant poofy hair-tastrophe. When your hair takes up a larger overall area than your face, you have a problem. News flash: guys aren’t clued into your who-has-the-tallest-hair competition, they just care that it’s soft and shiny. Our suggestion: Rock the smaller Bumpit with your hair half up. We like this trend!

Skinny jeans on guys – First of all, skinny jeans are not a flattering fit for many guys and consequently result in even more sightings of boxer-briefs (if humanly possible). Also, it can’t be comfortable spending all day hiking up your jeans, especially since you had to buy them 12 sizes too small. There’s nothing attractive about seeing how scrawny your legs are, not to mention your bony knees protruding from said legs. Lastly, we’re pretty sure you must have bought them in the junior section because that Miley Cyrus denim just doesn’t suit you. Our suggestion: men – buy jeans that fit, and women – go ahead and rock those skinny jeans, they’re meant to show off our curvy legs and hips.

Christen Mullett is a senior psychology major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].