Things to do in college

Kristine Gill

College is college anywhere you go. College at Kent State is only college at Kent State if you follow this list and do it before you graduate.

1) Pretend you can’t hear the guy at Quizno’s over the sneeze guard. Try ordering a Nathan’s hot dog from him.

2) Scare black squirrels by pretending to offer pizza and then shuffling your feet across the pavement instead.

3) Steal your roommate’s food in small doses. Occasionally ask to borrow things like eggs so they think you’re the type to ask every time.

4) Try never to meet your landlord. It’s more fun to hate someone who you can’t see and don’t really know.

5) Drink on Thursdays.

6) Also, drink on Fridays and Saturdays. Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays should become increasingly popular drinking nights as you near graduation.

7) Order ranch with your sweet potato fries when you’re at Wild Goats. Feels just like Ray’s, only their ice is more fun and breakfast is cute.

8) Skip a class every once in a while. You’ll feel like a new person walking around campus or grabbing lunch instead.

9) Pull all-nighters to make up for those days you slacked and skipped, you waste of life.

10) Take advantage of that food plan: gain the freshman 15.

11) Lose the freshman 15 — It looks horrible on you.

12) Cheat Parking Services. Put a fake stub on your windshield, steal a service pass, chalk your own tires or outrun them on their way to your car. Try something, anything.

13) Read the Stater. I don’t know how else you expect to find out about the things that go on around here.

14) Try watching TV2 sometime, too.

15) If you don’t want to spend your University Bookstore scholarship on books, buy one and return it. You get a gift card for store credit instead. Sorry, Mom.

16) Ask the catering office on the second floor of the Student Center to validate your parking for a scheduled and catered event that day. Make sure you know the name of the event and are sure food was served. They’ll stamp some piece of paper and you can use it the next time you’re running late for class and need to park in the Student Center lot.

17) Ask EVERYONE where the HELL the 1960 time capsule is buried on campus. I’ve been looking with two friends for three years with no luck. I want to dig that thing up.

18) Order tons of beer at the football games before halftime then leave when they stop serving. You can have a friend text you how much we lost by later.

19) Take a walk down by the river. It’s beautiful. Ask everyone — even the families there to fish — if they have pot on them. They should, right? Why else do you go down by the river?

20) Ask your professors how much they’re paid. It’s public record.

21) Smile at anyone you pass on the Esplanade. You’ll feel great all day.

22) Smile when you get pulled over. It’s worked wonders for me the last three times it happened, and I have yet to get a ticket.

23) Pull all-nighters with your best friends and reward yourselves with breakfast at McDonald’s.

24) Don’t sweat lending money to people. Don’t make them pay you back every time.

25) Listen to people. Really listen. You’ll learn so much.

26) Listen to Kristine Gill. Really listen. And have a blast while you’re here.

Kristine Gill is a senior newspaper journalism major and guest

columnist for the Daily Kent Stater.