Overheard at KSU

Nicole Aikens

Do you realize the kind of messed up, obnoxious and downright hilarious things people say on campus?

I don’t know whether these people don’t realize how they sound, don’t care what they say or are just trying to get a laugh. What I do know, however, is the Daily Kent Stater’s features staff is going to start exploiting these people. And we want your help, too.

Let’s begin with an example of something I said to ease you all into the idea.

The other day I was talking on the phone to my friend while I was on the bus. My side of the conversation kind of came out before I could realize how bad it could’ve sounded.

I told her, “Yeah, you go ahead and buy them, and we’ll put the money in your bank account.”

She goes to Ohio State, and I’ll be going to Columbus with one of our friends for a concert. She’s buying the tickets and we’re putting the money back in her bank account so she doesn’t have to wait for us to pay her back.

Anybody listening to my end of the conversation could have definitely assumed we were talking about something very bad. Like hard drugs or heavy artillery bad.

And honestly, I totally understand why. Putting money in someone’s bank account always sounds sketchy. That’s why I generally try to censor my conversations, so people don’t make terrifying assumptions.

Take this as your fair warning: We’re going to be listening, and we’re always going to assume whatever you’re doing is shady, odd or inappropriate.

Let me set another scene.

I’m sitting in my history class, desperately reading through a book I barely understood, and I hear a girl say this:

“Was it a successful night?” (long pause) “Did you say twice?”

In my opinion, this falls under the inappropriate. My mind peeked out from its campsite, the gutter, when it heard that one.

Twice? Yeah, I’d say that’s successful. The only way it could be more successful is if she went for the sexual indiscretion hat trick.

So now I’ve given you the shady and the inappropriate, and as funny as they are, sometimes the oddest things I hear are also the best.

I’m used to people thanking bus drivers when they get off the bus. What I am not used to is people thanking the bus drivers in Spanish.

I was riding the bus out to Allerton, like I do every day, and one guy pulled the cord to get off at one of the stops along the way to the ballfields.

As he gets off the bus, he yells, “Gracias, Señor!”

I could tell he wasn’t a native speaker by the way he sounded as if he was leaving a fifth grade Spanish class.

I don’t know if he was trying to be funny, but if that was his intention, I’d say he was pretty triumphant.

So if you’re the type of person who drops the f-bomb when you’re angry about a teacher or tries to bribe someone to hang out with you by offering them a sandwich (two things you can read about on “Overheard at KSU”), remember we’ve got our ears open.

We’re going to be taking note of the strange things you say and posting them for everyone to read. Visit our “Overheard at KSU” section of KentNewsNet.com to post the funny things you hear, too.

Contact features correspondent Nicole Aikens at [email protected]