See ya …

Everyone gets all sentimental at the end of the semester, be it in the middle of the year, at the end of the year or at graduation time. Let us be that breath of fresh air. Save your tears for some other newspaper, please.

So here’s our comprehensive list of things to do instead of moping about not seeing your Kent State girlies or boyz (much luv):

&bull When you pack up your dorm room, your apartment, your office or your car (commuter shout-out), leave the next person a little note. Even if your landlord/resident assistant/janitor/cousin Lenny finds it before the next resident, make them aware that the back corner, by the heater, is haunted. Perhaps say it’s the ghost of a College Fest rioter past. Make up a story. Get a good laugh.

&bull Wear nothing but lime green all summer. Say you think limes get poor treatment and picket outside of the local Giant Eagle. Let’s face it … you may not get a job this summer, so you might as well get in the city paper, right?

&bull Start a cover band. What’s better than being the lead singer of Whitesnake? Pretending to be the lead singer of Whitesnake!

&bull Quarantine your house. Everyone will assume it’s for swine flu. Correct them. It’s quarantined against cooties. Run away jauntily.

&bull Join the local YMCA, and bring a lawn chair every day so you can watch the basketball players rather than actually play. Sweating gives us the heebie-jeebies, too.

&bull Start a collection. Stamps, books, dogs, girlfriends, boyfriends, poison ivy, whatever.

&bull Remember in grade school when you had that one good friend whom you (totally) thought of as your second mom? Go to local bakeries, libraries and other places where moms like to hang out, walk up to women and say, “You’re like a second mother to me.” Bonus points if you do it with your own mother standing in the background nodding enthusiastically.

&bull Forget to pay your bursar’s bill for next semester. No, we’re kidding, that’s a pain. Don’t forget to do that.

&bull Write into the Daily Kent Stater and let every editor know how much you enjoyed his or her hard work this year. Yes, you ARE welcome for our vast and sure-to-be-endless coverage of the College Fest riots!

Cause, hell, we didn’t start the fire.

The above editorial is the consensus opinion of the Daily Kent Stater editorial board.