Pot, drinking, ‘boner soup’ amuse KSU

Nick Baker

Students fill M.A.C. Center for comedians

Comedian Nick Swardson kept members of the audience on the edge of their seats last night during his show at the M.A.C. Center. The event was sponsored by Undergraduate Student Government. Rachel Kilroy | Daily Kent Stater

Credit: DKS Editors

Last night, students, slackers, drunks and stoners alike showed up at the M.A.C. Center to see the comedic stylings of Nick Swardson, who joked for over an hour about such appropriate topics as students, slackers, drunks and stoners, along with a few poop jokes and some cracks on the elderly.

From the hard, narrow wooden bleachers a stream of people from all directions could be seen filing across the tarp-covered hardwood or up and out of stairwells to the cheap seats, filling the building.

People pushed through the cramped nosebleeds, packing every last corner of the building.

Around 8:15 p.m., the sweater-vested Kent State alumnus Chad Zumock took the stage.

Zumock, reminiscing about his years as a Golden Flash, joked about the fun that can be had as a sweater-vest-wearing general studies major with a taste for Jager bombs and an affinity for academic probation who now gets psyched up watching “Bromance.”

He related well to the crowd, shuffling through a handful of Kent-related jokes, from the football team losing to the University of Phoenix’s online program to potshots at the Kent Police Department. He then got the crowd going with a crack on Ravenna, drawing huge applause from the crowd.

He seemed to really impress some students who were unfamiliar with his comedy.

Mike Stein, junior business management major, said he thought Zumock was really the stand-out performer of the evening.

“I thought he got the crowd really involved,” Stein said. “He was really energetic and really related to the students because he went to Kent. He knew how to get them going.”

With the crowd roaring, Zumock transitioned into an introduction for the headlining Swardson.

Swardson climbed on stage, the two exchanged bro hugs and Swardson went right to work, sharing his experience landing in “gorgeous Cleveland” that day.

After proclaiming LeBron James to be “the best player in the NBA” because not only was he good, but “he never raped anybody,” he got into a slew of jokes about drunk Taco Bell trips, alcohol poisoning and what he referred to as the “drunk chick spiral.”

“I love drunk chicks,” Swardson said with a hint of seriousness. “Drunk chicks are awesome.”

He then pretended to cry, scream obscenities at people and vomit in a bar toilet, much to the enjoyment of the crowd.

He got people cheering for alcohol poisoning and proclaimed that Taco Bell food was totally different sober.

“When you’re sober, it’s like, ‘What is this?'” he said with confusion. “When you’re drunk, it’s like, ‘What is this!'” he shouted excitedly.

He spoke briefly about his experiences being mistaken for a real-life version of his famous Terry Bernadino character for the hit show “Reno 911!” and what comes with having people see him as a gay, roller-skating prostitute.

He went on to joke about the use of marijuana in the movie “Grandma’s Boy,” which was also followed by resounding applause.

“Any pot smokers here?” he asked as the crowd roared. “Wow, I like how there was no hesitation,” he said.

He moved on to the subject of senility, joking about giving away human feces as a birthday gift to his future grandson. “I thought it was a train set!” he said in a crackling voice. It’s a joke that apparently Swardson really enjoys.

“That’s from my album, dude,” Swardson said to the crowd, referencing 2007’s “Party.” “It’s my favorite joke.”

Swardson walked off the stage to huge cheers and hollers from the excitable crowd.

In the packed stairwell, people excitedly discussed the show. Eric Tomlinson, sophomore accounting major, said he thinks this is the kind of entertainment students want to hear.

“I thought it was hilarious,” Tomlinson said. “I loved the stories. They absolutely should bring more famous comedians that can relate to students.” He then added with a laugh, “Or pot smokers.”

Contact ALL/features correspondent Nick Baker at [email protected].