Sex messaging adds excitement to relationships

DKS Editors

It’s a night out with friends. No significant other is in the picture this evening. Drinks happen, and before long, the warmth caused by the vodka starts to creep into more sensitive regions of the body, tickling every nerve in just the right way. It doesn’t help that the person across the room, who you think is a dime, keeps shooting glances in your direction, forcing eye contact, screaming “notice me” with every stare.

Now, you’re no scumbag/douche bag/cheating whore. So, you take notice but don’t provoke the sexual charade taking place. Plus, your better half just sent you a text message. The vibration of the phone in your pocket felt pretty damn good, too.

“Hey baby. How’s the night? I miss you. Wishing you were here,” reads the text.

Blurry vision finds the keypad. And somehow, your brain makes your fingers type.

“Hi, love. Good times. Havin’ some drinks. Wishin’ I was with you.”

This message is true, but this sexy person across the bar has infiltrated your brain. Crazy thoughts start churning.

Flirting isn’t bad, right? Maybe I should send a drink that way? A subtle hello in passing on my way to the bathroom isn’t wrong?

The nuances of human attraction have got the best of you, clouding your judgment in this situation. Knowing someone is attracted to you is Temptation 101. Especially when you know that you won’t be seeing your special someone that night, the dastardly thought of “I could get away with this” starts to surface.

Maybe you need to splash some cold water on your face.

So, you hit up the bathroom. You don’t say anything to that person in passing, remembering that you aren’t a dick head/ho bag/slut face. Plus, as hot as this person undressing you with their eyes is, you know you have your beautiful darling thinking about you, missing you and wanting you.

This is when you step up your game. Take all of the sweaty, hot sexual energy rushing through your body caused by the stranger and put it into a text message with your sweetie’s name in the “to” bar.

“I want to taste you right now, anywhere you want me to.” Send.

You leave the bathroom, post back up at the bar with your friends and wait for the reply.

Your pocket buzzes.

“Baby, I would make you lick me everywhere,” stares up at you from the glowing screen.

Now, you’re smitten, feeling hotter than you felt all night. You cool off with another sip of vodka, contemplating your next response.

This is the budding flower of a sex message conversation.

The art of sex messaging is one of the best things a couple, whether it be new love or a longtime relationship, can enjoy together for many reasons.

Talking about sex is amazing. Conversations about sex allow a person to achieve, perhaps, a more sensual understanding of personal sexual desires and the expectations and desires of one’s partner.

When a new couple stumbles upon that first good make out session and hands start to wander down waistbands and up shirts, thinking is obsolete. Pure instinct takes over. A flow is developed where the two people feed off of each other’s energy. Once either person starts to think too much, that flow is ruined, and the chemistry of the moment disappears faster than a warm breath against the earlobe.

For a young couple, talking about sex is a great way to break the ice and learn about one another’s likes and dislikes. The great part about talking sex through text messages is it removes some of the personal element from the conversation.

Normally, any alienation between two people in a conversation is a bad thing. But when talking about sex for the first time, or first few times even, some alienation is acceptable. The distance created by not having to look at your partner while you share intimate secrets and fantasies can help to lower a person’s guard, allowing for uncensored and uninhibited conversation.

Beyond that, thinking about what you want to do to, or with, someone sexually and then having to write it creates a very intense dynamic.

Having to internalize your sexual thoughts and communicate those thoughts to your partner through writing offers a chance to be detailed, specific and precise. Tapping into that part of yourself can operate as a form of personal reflection.

Through reflection comes understanding. Through understanding comes awareness. Through awareness comes perception. Through perception comes experience.

Understanding yourself sexually allows you to be sexually self-aware. That self-awareness facilitates experience. And making any type of sexual encounter an experience, from a kiss to a good ass smack, is the ultimate goal.

For a young couple, employing text messaging as a sexual exploration strategy can be very insightful and empowering.

And if you are part of a veteran couple, having gotten all the exciting foreplay out of the way, text sex can keep the relationship on its toes. There is nothing better than a raunchy text from your love in the middle of work or a class to get you sitting back up straight in your seat.

Plus, with the video and picture capabilities of text messages, there are no limits to the sexual escapades that can be achieved.

Mutual masturbation can take on a new, digital life. Any distance, whether it be because a person is out of town or just can’t hang out that night, is easily remedied. What a great way to have a study break or curb the loneliness of being away from your partner, with a video of them playing out some fantasy on your phone.

Text messages have changed the way people communicate. And some would argue that sex is a form of communication.

Why not let sex evolve along with other forms of communication, establishing a new, exciting way to enjoy intimacy?

But, no text will ever compare to having a face-to-face talk with the person you love or enjoying them physically, in the flesh.

Like JT said, “I’m tired of using technology. I need you right in front of me.”

Darren D’Altorio is a senior magazine journalism major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].