Don’t walk down ‘October Road’

Bob Taylor

COURTESY Fox Searchlight

Credit: DKS Editors

This is it. After 106 columns over the course of seven semesters, this will be your final installment of “TV Time With Bob.” And what better way to go out than by bashing a show in the way only I can. E-mails bashing my taste are more than welcome.

“October Road”

Mondays, 10 p.m., ABC

It’s not often that I find a show so horribly horrible that I find it necessary to rip into for the entire column, but I’m happy to report that “October Road” is that series.

Viewers may remember, but probably don’t, that “October Road” was on ABC last season for about five weeks before disappearing for months. Too bad it didn’t just stay gone.

I’ll admit to watching that first season, and finding it strangely addicting in its badness, and how its characters appear to be idiots, yet speak like they are attempting to do a reading of some overblown bestselling book.

But this season? The first three episodes might just be three of the worst hours of television I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot. I’m the “TV Time” guy, after all.

First off, what drugged-up producer thought it would be a good idea to hit the reset button on almost every major story progression from the first season? The ever beautiful Laura Prepon, who deserves much better than this garbage, broke up with the guy who might either be evil incarnate or the bastard son of Liza Minelli and Ben Affleck, or both. This season? She immediately gets engaged to him.

Remember the two episodes spent last season devoted to Bryan Greenburg’s character, the man with the eternal orange tan, getting a job at the local university because – for no reason whatsoever. In this season’s second episode, Greenburg breaks into the university at night, even though he has keys, and effectively gets fired.

Speaking of Greenburg and Prepon, both excellent actors, this season they seem to have realized just how bad a show they are on, and have lowered their acting quality exponentially. Greenburg lets his bad tan do the talking for him, and Prepon looks like she is on the verge of tears every time she has to speak. I would be, too.

And as for their storyline, I get that in every television dramedy the writers have to cook up some nonexistent reason for the main couple to remain apart even though viewers know they are meant for one another. But this nonexistent reason is more nonexistent than any nonexistent reasoning I’ve ever heard of before. It’s that nonexistent.

I hate this show. Hate it. I hate it for trying to toy with our emotions without having any reason for us to care. I hate it because the actors seem to hate it as much as I do. I hate it because it seems so self-important. But mostly, I just plain hate it.

And, I guess, that’s all there is to say about that.

Contact all editor Robert Taylor

at [email protected]