Under a full moon, downtown transformed into a chilly menagerie of drunkenness and creativity

Downtown Kent was transformed from standard suburb to strange spectacle Saturday night. Kiel Server, dressed as Mario, led the tricycling Mario Kart gang down Franklin Avenue. Photo by Rebecca Moidel | Daily Kent Stater

Credit: Ron Soltys

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Various costumed fun-seekers wove their way through the jammed downtown streets Saturday night, dodging both drunken stragglers and frustrated drivers. Like zombies out of a cliché horror film, they filled the streets of downtown Kent. Hence, ruckus ensued:

10 p.m. — A crowd departed from Prentice Hall, and a Twinkie and Pikachu discussed their plans for the evening. A cop shot a woman dressed like a pirate as Tinkerbell trailed in cozy UGG boots. Under White Hall, a mouse quickly realized it’s going to be a long night as she stopped to adjust her heel.

“That was a bad idea,” she said, as she struggled to keep up with her group.

A German man adjusted himself.

“I’m on the border of erectile dysfunction,” he shouted as he approached Main Street.

10:30 p.m. — Bundled against the wind, children and families lined the sidewalk as party-goers headed downtown. They snapped pictures of a group in ’80s work-out garb Jazzercising its way past a Wookie smoking with Dog the Bounty Hunter and Super Woman leaning on a prison inmate for support.

On Mugs’s patio, a woman draped in black drank with a U.S. soldier and Osama bin Laden as the Ohio State game played behind them. She was dressed as an Iraqi woman, and only her eyes showed as she explained that the man dressed as bin Laden — who was pointing his fake bazooka at the crowd — was not a part of her group. They just met a few minutes before.

10:40 p.m. — Thing 1 and Thing 2 waited in front of Ronald McDonald in line to get into Ray’s Place as a pirate stabbed a penis and testicles with her sword. A mariachi band made its way up and down Franklin Avenue with a stereo blasting Mexican music. Jason revved up his chainsaw at the bottom of Erie Street and made his way towards Water Street.

“Looks like he’s going to get loose on a brother,” shouted someone in the fleeing crowd.

11 p.m. — The Three Little Pigs ran on and off the sidewalk to avoid the next wave arriving from campus. The Big Bad Wolf towered outside the Franklin Street Deli as a ketchup bottle scrambled for his lid before it was trampled.

A pair of Supermen wandered into the madness with “dat ho” scribbled on their chests. George Bush passed the food booths set up on Main Street waving his bottle of choice, followed by two Secret Service agents.

“I keep it green every night with the bowl,” shouted a leprechaun outside The Kent Stage.

11:05 p.m. — Outside the Brewhouse, a crowd gathered as a bouncer pointed to a “21+ Only” sign posted on the door. Grumbling, the group dispersed as someone sporting a “Ninjas against pirates” sign walked by.

A group of sperm gathered to decide their next move as a Christmas tree passed.

“Happy Halloween, Christmas tree,” shouted a man dressed in a black afro and baby blue suit, “Merry Christmas.”

As the tree made his way down the street, one of his gift-shoes came off. One of a few hundred scantily clad women picked up the shoe, calling ahead to the tree, “You lost your present!”

Two pairs of Mario and Luigi embraced in front of Planned Parenthood.

“This is really awkard,” one of the Luigis said.

Across the street, a group of bunnies wound through the crowd in front of The Kent Stage. As one took her ears off, another reprimanded her.

“You’ve got to wear the hat, or you’re going home,” he yelled. “You’re ruining the group.”

11:10 p.m. — The sperm ran across Water Street, heading down the alley between the Firefly and the Water Street Tavern to Franklin Avenue. They passed a group of girls dressed as nurses searching for their IDs so they could get into the bar and out of the cold faster.

Two wrestlers shouted praises about Guy’s Pizza as those in line shivered.

“Guy’s Pizza raises people from the dead,” one of them exclaimed.

A guitarist joined in the acclaim as a bottle of Cran-Grape juice and a box of Stove Top stuffing made their way through the crowd.

Near the corner, a bar wench cuddled for warmth on an elf’s lap and an Amish man stood under an overhang with a hooker and a cop. Around the block, a racetrack, carrying a case of Bud Light, searched for his friends.

“Have you seen two blockheads?” he asked the crowd outside of Mug’s.

11:20 p.m. — A 10-man green dragon ran past the Water Street Tavern as a gypsy challenged a group of sumo wrestlers gathered on the side of the street.

“Watch out for my hoes,” shouted a pimp, as he rounded the corner with a girl on each arm.

The Village People crashed, dancing and singing, through a football team waiting to get into Ray’s while two gypsies smoked and talked on the corner.

A Twister board and a mime danced while they smoked outside of Smokin’ Tattoos.

“I hugged him,” shouted a woman dressed as a police officer. “I hugged the Big Bad Wolf.”

A few doors down, passersby ducked as partiers above Annie’s Almost Anything Shop yelled and threw beers at those below.

11:40 p.m. — Mega Man flexed on the sidewalk on Main Street while Robin managed a cowgirl passed out in his lap. Snow White nose dived as she stumbled down the steps outside the Sigma Chi fraternity house.

“Put it back on and get on my back,” a friend told her as she looked at her shoe.

The Ghostbusters and a pair of Oompa-Loompas made their way downtown as Clifford and a bottle of Totally Vodka rubbed noses on the side of the street. Albert Einstein jigged his way past, giving people thumbs up, shouting, “It’s Einstein’s theory of getting wasted!”

11:50 p.m. — The Village People performed for mounting traffic on the median at the intersection of Haymaker Parkway and Main and Willow Streets.

“We’re not crossing, so don’t worry about us,” the police man shouted.

Other costumed characters didn’t make it across the street and joined in their dancing.

David Beckham and an angel ran up Main Street towards campus.

“What are we running for?” the soccer star asked his winged friend.

“For Burger King,” she replied.

The angel proceeded to fall down in front of Starbucks.

“White trash” wandered down University Drive as one of many groups of Spartans yielded their weapons for battle.

A girl dressed in black yelled about the costumes as she passed them, sometimes distracted by everything else going on around her.

“Snakes on a plane! Snakes on a plane!” she said. “Oh, it smells like eggs. Eggs on a plane!”

12:00 a.m. — In Jimmy John’s, an employee told the crowd gathered that they would have to leave if they weren’t buying anything. Those who obliged crammed their costumes into booths as everyone else went outside.

“I don’t want to get pneumonia,” cried a shivering flapper.

The state of Wyoming made his way back to campus past a chicken that slid down a hill outside.

12:10 a.m. — Gene Simmons stopped traffic as he ran across Main Street.

“Give me a kiss,” commanded a kissing booth as girls passed him by.

At the intersection of Main and Water Streets, a special package labeled “Handle with Care” fixed his suspender straps holding his costume together. Someone else walked past with a sign that said: “Ninjas were in the Carribbean first but we were invisible.”

12:40 a.m. — “I want a photo with the pink taco,” said a sheep.

“Why is it a pink taco? Is that like a thing,” someone else asked.

“No, it’s a vagina,” her friend answered, ushering her along.

A dick-in-a-box watched as a man with a bloody face was loaded into an ambulance outside The Kent Stage. A police officer tossed the victim’s daisy mask into a nearby trashcan.

12:45 a.m. — Abe Lincoln withdrew five dollars out of the Huntington ATM. A whoopie cushion walked around making its own sound effects as he passed a woman not in costume enjoying Fat Billy’s pizza.

“I need to buy a coat,” she mumbled.

Down the street, someone in a white mask and wig looked in on patrons in the Water Street Tavern, laughing as they screamed in fright.

12:50 a.m. — An old woman with a walker and her husband staged a mock accident with a group of costumed police officers at the corner of Erie Street and Franklin Avenue. Minnie Mouse lit her cigarette off Captain America’s as a cow and penguin passed them.

On College Street, Marilyn Monroe shivered by the curb, looking for her friends.

1:30 a.m. — Near the intersection of Willow and Main streets, a man driving a white car stopped, opened all the doors and blasted a Yung Joc song. A group dancing on a porch nearby stopped, disappointed, when the light changed, and he drove off.

Ricky Bobby passed out pizza as a man dressed as a cheerleader carried a woman dressed as football player back toward campus. The state of California passed in the opposite direction.

Along Main Street in front of Burger King, more than 15 emergency vehicles waited in case something happened at one of the many parties on University Drive.

“Some are Kent Police and some are (Ohio State Police),” an officer said. “They weren’t all requested, but they are here to help.”

2:00 a.m. — A line gathered at Gyro Bob’s as the bars began shutting down for the morning. Costumes astray, customers stumbled out of bars on Franklin Avenue and Michael Vick, with a real dog on a leash, kneeled to pose with someone dressed as a dog.

2:10 a.m. — Two men urinated at 121 Main St. as a Nintendo-64 controller made his way downtown. A pair of Miller Beer Co. workers made their way back toward campus with a werewolf.

2:30 a.m. — Two women dressed in fishnets shouted across Main Street at a woman dressed in skimpy camouflage. The pair crossed the street, fell down in a driveway, got up and made their way back to their party.

“I need to make it home,” said a Parma track player at the intersection of Haymaker Parkway and Main and Willow streets.

Jackets and other pieces of clothing littered the Wendy’s parking lot. The Cookie Monster and Captain Hook made their way back to campus.

Slowly, downtown emptied as students left behind muddy footprints, shattered glass and random bits of broken costumes. With not-so-many memories, but oh-so-many other reminders, they filed back to campus, looking forward to warm beds and next year’s fun.

Contact student life reporter Theresa Bruskin at [email protected] and off-campus entertainment reporter Adam Griffiths at [email protected].