The game of love is no more a game

Erica Wiesburn

I’ve stopped dating for fun. I don’t know when the transformation occurred, but now I don’t give guys a second look if they don’t have husband potential.

Life was simpler when dating was more like a game and less like an interview process. Even though I’m only 21 years old, I’ve gotten to the point in my life where I’m not willing to waste my time with a guy who has no potential. What’s the point if I couldn’t see myself falling for him?

Just a few years ago, I didn’t care if my boyfriend had career goals, initiative or intellect, wanted children or was someone I could see myself loving forever. He was attractive, faithful and thoughtful, and he made me laugh. That was good enough for me. Now, a guy like that isn’t enough to satisfy me.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not some high maintenance, picky bimbo looking for Mr. Perfect. I’m not ready to marry anyone. Nor do I expect serious relationships from all my dates. I also like to relax and have fun with no real plan of the future. The difference is the type of guy I could fall in love with has changed from what it was a couple years ago.

In high school my definition of love was much different than how I define it today. I thought loving someone was simple. If I was in relationship for more than six months, I thought it was love. Thankfully, I’ve grown up.

Now I believe that love doesn’t have a time requirement. It can take weeks or years to fall in love with someone. Depending on how well you know the person, love has no bounds.

I’ve also learned that finding someone to love while in college isn’t that easy.

The problem is that most of us make the change of wanting a serious commitment, but at different times. Thus the saying, “having the right person at the wrong time” makes a lot more sense to me. You could be the perfect couple, but if you both have different expectations for the relationship it will probably fail.

However, just because one of you isn’t ready for a lifelong commitment doesn’t mean giving up is the only answer.

Which brings me to my next point. Within reason, waiting on the person you love isn’t crazy. Patience is part of love. Some things are worth fighting for, some aren’t. As long as you trust your instincts, the outcome should be in your favor.

I’ve waited on the guy I love for months. We love each other, but the timing is way off. Giving up seems much more rational than holding on.

My friends think I’m absolutely crazy for putting up with his antics. But, the fact of the matter is he makes me happier than anyone ever has. He knows all my flaws and loves me for them. Most of all, he has the potential I am looking for.

Call me crazy, but I can’t leave a man like that.

Erica Weisburn is a senior newspaper journalism major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].