Students discuss solutions for relationship troubles

Kelli Koch


Credit: Steve Schirra

Amanda Berkey was shocked when she found out that her boyfriend of two years was cheating on her.

“The girls he cheated on me with told me,” she said. “He kept telling me they were only friends.”

After they broke up, Berkey, a sophomore zoology major, said she found out that he had been lying about his age the whole time. He told her that he was 22, but she read his medical records that proved that he was actually 29.

Cheating can be a sure-fire way to end a relationship. From what some Kent State students said, jealousy, control issues, lying and problems with trust can also lead to an eventual breakup.

Megan Wallo, junior human development major, said it doesn’t take much to make her jealous.

“I get so jealous even if my boyfriend is just talking to one of my friends,” she said. “He constantly has to reassure me that he wants to be with me. It’s a junior high relationship problem that has unfortunately followed me.”

Jason McGlothlin, assistant professor in the department of adult counseling, health, and vocational education, said that jealousy plays a big role in failed relationships, especially with college-aged adults.

“Jealousy can add strain on a relationship,” McGlothlin said. “Too much strain and not enough communication can lead to a possible breakup.”

Women who complain too much are a turnoff for Eric Fanello, junior aviation flight technology major. He said his ex-girlfriend used to complain about his driving or his parking if it wasn’t close enough to her class.

“I hate being told how to drive,” he said. “If my turn signal is on, I know to get off at the next exit. There’s no need to tell me.”

Tyler Khan, a junior aviation flight technology major, said he hates when a woman tells him how to dress or what shirt to buy.

Girls like to dress their boyfriends, Wallo said. She likes bad boys, but her boyfriend won’t take her advice on how to dress.

“I like ripped jeans, and he wears Dockers,” she said. “He’s a geeky prep who would wear a sweater vest.”

Someone who is too controlling can drive the other person away. Berkey said her ex-boyfriend was very controlling. He told her that she couldn’t hang out with her best friend because he was a man.

“There was no trust in our relationship,” she said.

Stephanie Mosher, a junior middle childhood education major, said a couple needs to be able to trust each other enough not to go through each other’s cell phones to read text messages.

“If they can’t trust each other, maybe they shouldn’t be in that relationship,” she said.

Senior nursing major Julius Sable, who has been married for 36 years, said the key to a successful relationship is having respect and being a team player. Compromise in decision making is very important.

Couples should try to avoid the blame game, McGlothlin said. No one wants to accept the blame, so he or she begins to place the blame on the other person.

He said couples should take things step-by-step and always keep communication open.

“Talking and communicating with one another is the best way to keep a relationship going,” McGlothlin said.

Mosher said to never take the other person or the relationship for granted.

“People need to realize no one is perfect,” she said. “Stop trying to change the little things about their boyfriend or girlfriend that actually make them the person they are supposed to be.”

Honesty is very important in her relationship with her boyfriend, Wallo said. They are open with each other, and she recommends that every couple be up front about their insecurities.

“We know everything about each other,” she said. “He knows I am crazy, and he still likes me.”

Contact student life reporter Kelli Koch at [email protected].