A real man’s holiday

Kevin Clark

Feb. 14 is a day that all men fear. Valentine’s Day (cue dramatic music here) – the day where all men bow in servitude to the women they love. Although the day has passed, let us not forget about all of the obstacles that we men had to go through in order for you women to be happy. Before we go any further, let the record state that men are an equal-opportunity celebrator.

On Valentine’s Day, the lines at certain places were longer than those of some concerts I have attended. Can you picture cranky old (and young) men all standing in a line, waiting to purchase a few roses from the flower store? What kicks all of us squarely in the pants is that the check-out lady is using her feminine wiles to persuade the guys to buy more flowers than they wanted to. “I think she’ll like these – they say ‘I love you with all my heart,'” she begins to say to one fellow. When she notices that the guy isn’t 100 percent going for it, she uses the phrase that creates possibility in a man’s imagination. She says, “Trust me.”

Valentine’s Day turned a lot of everyday men into yesteryear Romeos. For some, the idea crafted out of love ignited a fire of passion that led to a night of intimacy. For plenty of others, the conversation probably went like this:

Girl: “What’d you get me?”

Guy: “I got you flowers, chocolate, candy, two DVDs, some perfume, three dozen flowers and a dog – Happy Valentine’s Day! What’d you get me?”

Girl: “A Sports Illustrated magazine . Happy Valentine’s Day! I love yooouuuu!”

(Insert frowning face here). There comes a time and a place where, as a man, you have to stand up for yourself. There comes a point in your existence when enough is enough, and too much doesn’t smell good.

My friend, Marquis Foster, was talking to me a few days after the Valentine’s Day Massacre, and he proposed an idea. It was about a countermovement that was being created by and for men. When he finally told me the name of the holiday, I had to laugh, while secretly thinking to myself that it was a brilliant idea. Steak and BJ Day was created by radio DJ Tom Birdsey in 2002. It originated as a parody – the male’s version of Valentine’s Day. The holiday is to be celebrated March 14. An alternative to the gift-heavy Valentine’s Day, Steak and BJ Day requires “no cards, no flowers, and no special nights on the town.”

If you do a Google search, you’ll come across www.petitiononline.com, where 1,385 signatures have autographed their “John Hancock,” fighting for equal rights for men through Steak and BJ Day. So, men, circle March 14 on your calendar, and ladies, get prepared for our holiday advertising schemes.

And for the man who has everything, women, you can surprise him by creating your own unique Steak and BJ Day poetry. Just like the good folks at http://asmallvictory.net/archives/008336.html have on their site done in greeting-card form. This idea is a perfect one for the man who feels Feb. 14 only means empty wallets and beds.

Kevin L. Clark is a sophomore journalism major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].