Religious cartoon quagmire must end

Guns don’t kill people, cartoons do instead.

A long time ago, in a European country far far away, a Danish newspaper ran a cartoon ridiculing Islam’s Prophet Muhammad in September. But soon, the Rebel Alliance of Arab and Muslim countries took a stand against the European newspaper empire.

Many men valiantly sacrificed their lives during this battle (i.e. were trampled in riots while bending down to tie their shoes), but the fight would still continue.

The Danes’ shot was heard around the world after they launched the first strike of Muhammad cartoons. Coming back even harder though were the Iranians. According to CBS News, the Iranian newspaper Hamshahri said it will hold a cartoon competition about the Holocaust in response to the Danes.

The Iranians attacked the Danes hard with every Holocaust cartoon they’ve got. How long can the Danes hold on?

During times of war, “the enemy of my enemy is also my friend.” The Israelis would open up a battle front of their own. After all, since when do the Danes and Iranians get to have all the fun?

According to NPR, cartoonist Amitai Sandy created an Israeli anti-Semitic cartoon contest in response to the Iranians. He said “Jews can offer sharper, more offensive satire of themselves than anyone.”

The battle had evolved into a full-scale war of cartoons. It started with the Danes invading the Muslim world, and now it includes the Israelis on kamikaze cartoon attacks. Time to hide under our desks.

America, the world needs you! But which brave American would be strong enough to lead our country to victory?


Although not directly related to the Muhammad cartoons, the BBC has reported comic book artist Frank Miller is currently working on “Holy Terror,” a comic which sees the Caped Crusader defending Gotham City from a terrorist attack. The latest Batman adventure will see the Dark Knight take on none other than al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.

“Superman punched out Hitler,” Miller said in the BBC interview. “So did Captain America. That’s one of the things they’re there for.”

Hey, if Marine assassins can’t catch a six-foot-something guy with kidney problems, then perhaps a make-believe hero with spandex and a grappling hook can.

Batman might need backup though. Better call up the Justice League. The United States shouldn’t make any moves on bin Laden until the Flash has time to gather intelligence. We can’t let him get away again.

This editorial board will not downplay the severity of how offensive the Danish cartoons were to members of the Muslim faith, but isn’t this entire controversy getting out of hand?

In an editorial we wrote two weeks ago, we said we hoped the Danish cartoons would create religious dialogue among all faiths. In many cases that may have happened already, but the violence still continues.

In Pakistan last week, The Associated Press reported protesters burned down a KFC. Wow, the chicken there must be “extra crispy” now.

Over the weekend, riots spilled into Libya and Nigeria, stretching the protests and riots from South Asia and the Middle East to Africa.

Frankly, we’re sick of just about anything related to these cartoons. When is enough, enough?

The above editorial is the consensus opinion of the Daily Kent Stater editorial board.