“Fancy finding you here.” Jessica Alba and Paul Walker find love under the sea in Into the Blue.

Credit: Steve Schirra

 

Into the Blue Starring Paul Walker, Jessica Alba, Scott Caan and Ashley Scott Directed by John Stockwell Written by Matt Johnson Released by MGM and Columbia Stater rating (out of four): **

 

Everyone willing to buy a ticket to Into the Blue knows exactly what he or she is about to see: Hundreds of shots focusing on the stars in various stages of undress and a lighthearted if unoriginal adventure yarn. And that’s what you’ll get.

Paul Walker is (surprise!) a ne’er-do-well, unemployed diver named Jared who is in love with Jessica Alba, the (shocking!) sexy babe named Sam with a heart of gold.

Walker’s best friend Bryce (Scott Caan) washes into town with his girlfriend of the week (Ashley Scott). He’s apparently broke but can still afford to rent a mansion, boat and diving equipment.

On a day of fun in the sun, the friends are diving when they find a few buried trinkets and find a sunken ship with half a billion dollars worth of treasure.

The only catch is they must find something with the ship’s name on it to claim the treasure as their own. That needs time and money they don’t have, but luckily for them, there is a sunken plane only 200 meters away full of unspoiled cocaine. Really.

Every cliche in the book is dusted off for the film. There are plot and logic holes so big I think at one point a shark swims through one. The characters are complete cardboard cutouts. The twist is so obvious you can sense what it is from watching half the trailer.

And yet, Into the Blue isn’t a bad movie. It knows it’s the film equivalent of trailer trash and isn’t afraid to flaunt it. The movie might use every cliche in the book but it doesn’t try to disguise them, and the movie deserves respect for not trying to be something it isn’t.

Walker and Alba are gorgeous to look at, of course, though their acting leaves much to be desired. Caan does a bad impression of Steve Zahn from Joy Ride.

Into the Blue is predictable cornball fun that is pretty to look at and easily forgettable. With so many great films in the multiplex right now, why waste your money on this?

Contact ALL correspondent Robert Taylor at [email protected].