Males experimenting with same sex

Casual acts of lesbianism by straight women seem to be everywhere.

Seeing two women kiss is old hat these days — just turn on MTV. Or go into a crowded bar on the weekend and, if you hang around long enough, chances are you’ll catch two women making out and a gawking gaggle of men who love them.

Apparently the men felt left out because now they’re getting in on the action.

My buddy Seth broke this news to me a few weeks ago over a couple of beers.

Seth mentioned that I should write something on experimentation.

”O..kaaaaayyy….what KIND of experimentation?”

“Oh…shit… ” my roommate muttered, shaking her head and nursing her drink. She knew full well what can of worms I was about to open. I was clueless.

Then Seth busted out with the name of his latest conquest: Jake.


Seth? The ex-frat guy with the “open relationship” with his girlfriend? Seth of the hyper-masculine attitude and love — make that lust — for women?


Apparently, Seth’s same-sex shenanigans started about seven years ago with his former roommate. They came home drunk; they were horny and things happened.

Then it was with the cop. Well, he wasn’t one then, but he is now.

Then the second fraternity guy, the first being his roommate.

And most recently, Jake.

Seth said with men, it’s visceral. With women, it’s intimate.

With men, it’s over in ten minutes, and they leave. There’s a power in having a beautiful man go down on you. Pure sex and domination. Power.

With women, he describes himself as a “cuddle whore.”

The men were all gorgeous — stop-your-car-and-take-a-second-look gorgeous. With the women it’s more about the person.

According to Seth, it’s about breaking the rules and great oral sex.

It’s not about labels.

He pointed out that when he lived in Europe, sexual identity wasn’t as narrow as it is in the States. He called himself a “sexual chameleon” and said traditional gay/straight labels aren’t necessary — they allow people to judge.

Apparently, Seth’s not the only one who thinks about the label issue.

“Why do I have to label myself to make you comfortable?” asked J.L. King, author of On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of ‘Straight’ Black Men Who Sleep with Men. “I refuse to be labeled and classified that folks will look at me as something different. I am a man,” said King on April 16, 2004’s “Oprah Winfrey Show.”

“I’m not too impressed with labels of any sort,” said part-time human sexuality professor Laurie Wagner, although she did mention that in her opinion, if people are engaging in “sexual behaviors with same and other sexed individuals, he/she is bisexual.”

So if there were a label, what would it be?


Gay straight men?

On the down low?


David, an openly gay student, said there are a lot of men who consider themselves straight but engage in gay sexual behavior. He said most of these guys are gay and just haven’t come out yet.

The guys who experiment with another guy a few times but live a straight life, complete with a girlfriend or wife, are probably just experimenting and will never come out as gay because they’re really not. But some of them, according to David, are in denial.

One “friend” of David’s only recently gave David his phone number, and this is after years of friendship. If he sees David in public, he’ll run the other way.

“He’s completely gay but in denial,” David said.

Seth doesn’t think of himself as gay, and only two out of his four male partners were gay. In fact, the first one is now married with two kids. Seth said that’ll be him someday. He said he’d label himself as straight, but it really doesn’t matter.

“Who cares who you fuck; it matters who you are.”


Sarika Jagtiani is a graduate student in journalism and the sex columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].