No significant other? No worries

Sarika Jagtiani

Singles don’t need lonely hearts club on Valentine’s

Credit: Andrew popik

Singles don’t need lonely hearts club on Valentine’s

 

I used to dread the chunk of time between my late-January birthday and St. Patrick’s Day because I knew Valentine’s Day was coming. Time to feel like a failure.

Not so much anymore, thanks to an ex-boyfriend.

We had been dating for a few months, and it was all very dramatic.

Is he really over his ex-girlfriend? Should we have stayed just friends? Does he really have to wear black heavy metal T-shirts every day?

It was, after all, the year 2000.

Then Valentine’s Day came. I thought this would be a good gauge of where we were as a couple.

And it was.

He bought me the book Things Fall Apart.

Shortly after, things certainly did fall apart.

It wasn’t the book that did it, it was that we weren’t right for each other. I learned from that experience that I was better off to be single than to be with someone who just wasn’t right for me.

Even on Valentine’s Day.

Ah, Valentine’s Day, the day retailers conspire to make singletons feel like big fat losers. I don’t buy it, and I don’t think you should either.

First of all, you don’t have to be romantically attached to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

So I’m single on Valentine’s Day. Instead of flipping through the old picture albums and wondering why I made such bad choices (note to self: Stop trying to reform commitment-phobes), I’m going to do what I love best. I’m going to shop for my six-month-old nephew, Frankie, a.k.a. The Pumpkin.

Apparently, this isn’t such a bad idea.

“The spirit of Valentine’s Day, with intimacy, a little wine, some chocolate, bringing home flowers or sweets, is a tradition we should follow throughout the year,” said Dr. Melvyn Rubenfire in a press release issued by the University of Michigan Health Services. “It’s one day of celebration that we should continue on a daily basis.”

OK, so it would be creepy, not to mention illegal, if I were to share wine and chocolate with my nephew. But as moderate amounts of wine and chocolate are good for your heart, according to Dr. Rubenfire, I’ll find someone to share them with. Something tells me I won’t have to twist my friends’ arms for this.

Rubenfire, director of preventive cardiology at UMHS, also said there is evidence that people who are sick but have good support systems, romantic or otherwise, live longer than people who don’t.

So practicing Valentine’s traditions can be good for you, regardless of who you share them with.

This isn’t to say that I don’t get the need to have a guy in my life. I get it. There comes a time when I crave male affection. I want to know someone’s thinking about me. I want to laugh in bed with someone. Most importantly, I want someone to clean off my car when it snows.

Trust me, I get it.

But I enjoy my single life, and Valentine’s Day isn’t going to change that.

Think of all the things you can do as a singleton that you can’t as part of a couple. Example: having, and acting on, crushes.

I love crushes. If you know me, you know I always have one. On fresh-faced undergrads. On smart-ass tellers at my bank. On brainy techies.

If I were in a serious relationship, I couldn’t make passes at boys who wear glasses. Luckily, I can. And do.

I also have great friends and even though I’m not going to marry any of them, I love having the freedom to jump in the car on the weekends and take off to see them. And I don’t have to tell anyone what I’m doing, who I’m doing it with or when I’ll be back.

Except for my editor.

For those of you who aren’t convinced, who still feel like you’re the only singleton out there who won’t be cuddling up to someone on Monday, take heart.

Angela.

Justin.

Jenny.

Lance.

Michelle.

Scott.

Ameet.

Alli.

Will.

Sarika.

All single, all proving that you’re not alone.

Sarika Jagtiani is a graduate student in journalism and is the sex columnist. Contact her at [email protected]