“When” by Dodie blasts through Sarah Rings’ car speakers as she drives through the streets of her hometown. Tears stream down her face, leaving black marks of mascara trailing across her cheeks. Sarah asks herself the unthinkable question: Is college what I really want? 

For four years, Sarah was asked where she wanted to go to college and who she wanted to be when she grew up. 

“Everyone else had something they wanted to do and something they wanted to accomplish in their life and I felt like I didn’t have any goals because I didn’t,” Sarah said. “Getting asked that question in middle school and high school was really hard.” 

Sarah’s grudge towards homework and neutral passing grades in school made her feel like an outsider to the education system. She didn’t think she wanted a college education, but everyone else wanted a college education for her. 

So she made everyone else’s dreams come true. 

“I think high school was all about friendships for Sarah,” Sarah’s mom Kelly Rings said. Sarah’s outgoing and fun personality meant that she naturally made friends, and friends quickly became her priority. Her motivation for high school was built on being able to whisper to her best friend Tori in class, and patiently awaiting volleyball practice after school. 

As the end of high school crept into Sarah’s reality, she desperately forced herself to apply and commit to college. Sarah filled out an application for every school in Ohio, “except for The Ohio State University. I wasn’t getting in there,” she said through a giggle. 

As Sarah received her acceptance letters, her parents reminisced about young Sarah’s fascination with the atmosphere of college campuses and the fun that came with it. 

“I remember taking her to the University of Dayton for a weekend-long lifeguarding class and after I picked her up she asked to drive around campus,” Kelly said. “She loved seeing everybody walking around campus and she was like, ‘oh my gosh, I want to a part of that.’” 

Soon after high school graduation, Sarah was preparing to move 3.5 hours away into a small non-air-conditioned dorm room at Kent State University. After crying in her parents arms before they left campus, Sarah was hesitant yet excited to experience her idea of college. 

As she started her first semester, she quickly fell into habits that distracted her from her education. 

“I got drunk all the time,” Sarah said. These irresponsible drinking habits and constant attendance to fraternity parties instead of her 8 a.m. courses changed the trajectory of her college career. 

“I prioritized being able to go out more than I prioritized my education,” Sarah said. “The amount of times I went to class… I could probably count on my hands.” 

After a semester of making friends and partying, Sarah went home to her family for winter break. While stacking canned goods on shelves at the local Kroger, Sarah received an email from the university. This small online letter explained how her current performance and GPA would have to improve if she hoped to stay in school. 

She was failing. 

“I was so stuck in wanting to be 16 again and wanting to be in my made-up world of college, but I had been smacked in the face by reality when I got the email,” Sarah said. Immediately after receiving the email, with tears in her eyes and knots tangled in her stomach, Sarah called her mom trying to find the best way to tell her the gut-wrenching news. 

“She was quiet, she was in her room a lot, pretty withdrawn, and she was devastated at the idea of not being able to go back,” Kelly said. “I think she felt so much shame that she didn’t perform well or do what we expected, she didn’t pass.” 

While Sarah sat in her childhood bedroom, Seth and Kelly watched her curl up and become this innocent little girl in need of help. Kelly held on tight to Sarah hoping her embrace would answer all Sarah’s questions and ease her mind. 

All Sarah knew was that she wanted to go back. Maybe the first semester was a fluke and if she went back for the second semester she could find a balance between life and school. 

The second semester consisted of early morning alarms and long nights in the library. Gradually, Sarah’s grades got better and her indifference to school shifted. She got the right grades, went to classes on time and still went out every weekend. Sarah found balance but never found the fulfillment she was hoping for during her second semester of college. 

Sarah had proven to herself that she could be successful in college, enabling her to accept that college was never her dream and never would be. Forcing herself to continue would only lead to wasted time and money. 

“I decided that I just needed a break,” Sarah said. “Just gather myself, find a job, pay some bills, maybe do some soul searching and figure out what I want to do with my life.” 

To outsiders, Sarah’s decision to drop out of college seemed like a negative life choice. But for Sarah, leaving school offered clarity and self-reflection. 

“I was scared because I didn’t want it to become a reality where I was a college dropout, which is what I am, and it’s not a negative thing,” Sarah said.

This fear is not only experienced by Sarah, though. A 2022 survey conducted by Best Colleges explained that 52% of high school students feel pressure to make decisions about their future too soon. Another survey conducted by Inside Higher Ed in 2021 found that 86% of students feel pressure to pursue a four-year degree. 

Unlike many students who decide to leave school, Sarah decided to stay in Kent to live and find work. Sarah knew if she stayed in her hometown she would be stuck in the basement working at the same local grocery store with no sense of direction. 

Staying in Kent allowed her to keep moving forward. 

“I was proud that she was so forward-thinking,” Kelly said. “She wasn’t just short-sighted, and thinking well, it’s easier to stay home.” 

Once Sarah opened herself up to the idea of being a college dropout, she was able to look for her passions in places she could actually find them. Sarah didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up, but she knew what she didn’t want, and for her that was a step in the right direction. 

Each week – since dropping out – Sarah finds herself working as the operations supervisor for the Kent State University Hotel. Instead of dragging herself out of bed for class, she happily wakes up at 7 a.m. five days a week for work. After putting her makeup on and getting dressed in her favorite black slacks and gray button-up sweater, Sarah greets people, checks them into their rooms and gives them advice on how to spend their days. 

“I want to be able to help people,” Sarah said. “A big reason why I love my job is because of what I’m able to do for people and how I’m able to take care of them.” 

This job enables Sarah to do what she loves most, make friends and connect with different kinds of people. Now that her mind is no longer clouded by people’s expectations Sarah is able to plan her future her own way. 

“I might go to community college for a few years to get a degree, but I’m really just living in the moment right now,” Sarah said. “It really was a blessing in disguise, me dropping out.”

Chloe Robertson is an opinion writer. Contact her at [email protected].