Were you sad that Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn broke up in August? Did your definition of love falter? Or did you hate that she went off to date Matty Healy? Were you a little too excited when Zendaya and Tom Holland got together?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be in a parasocial relationship. But that’s okay! It’s a completely normal thing and they are a core part of today’s society. So what exactly is a parasocial relationship and is it unhealthy or healthy?

Parasocial relationships are the one-sided relationship that fans have with their favorite influencer, celebrity or athlete. You might know everything about that person, but they have no clue who you are.

And I won’t lie, I have fallen victim to parasocial relationships. In fact, I’m in one right now. Well, two.

I started watching these two YouTubers when I was just fourteen years old. You might know them, Daniel Howell and Phil Lester. They have been collaborating with each other since 2009 and have over 9 million subscribers between the two of them.

My parasocial relationship with the pair is so bad that I have three tattoos that reference quotes said by Daniel and have run a fan page dedicated to the two of them since I was 15.

I personally feel as if parasocial relationships have healthy aspects, as well as aspects that can be unhealthy.

For the longest time I didn’t want anything to do with anyone who didn’t know Dan and Phil, because I felt as if they didn’t understand me. This caused me to ostracize myself from friends and family, which was terrible for my mental health. The only things that would make me happy were Dan and Phil. I basically lived for them and them alone.

But on the other hand, they truly have helped me through some really tough times in my life. I feel as if Dan understands my mental health issues and my queerness. Phil is always there to make me laugh with his silly little videos. They’ve given me a safe space to express myself in ways I never thought I could.

I even got to meet Dan last year and thank him for everything that he has done for me, which was honestly the best experience of my life.

Sarah Mader, a graphic design student who also ran a fan page for Dan and Phil for the past two years, feels the same about parasocial relationships.

“It makes me feel like I have a friend to be able to watch,” Mader said. “When I think of friendships, I like talking to people about what they’re interested in and I like seeing what is going on with their lives.”

Mader said that for the most part, parasocial relationships are harmless. They said they can be unhealthy when they border on obsession.

“It depends on how you manage it,” Mader said. “So if you know how to balance your parasocial relationship with your regular relationship and duties, I think that they can be beneficial. But if you don’t know how to do that they can really take a toll on your health and how you’re doing mentally.”

Over time, I’ve learned how to have a healthier parasocial relationship with the pair. I realized that I didn’t need to know what they were doing at every part of their day. I figured out that it was okay for them to make me happy, as long as it’s not the only thing making me happy. And that having a parasocial relationship is okay, as long as I don’t let it consume every waking moment of my life.

But I can say, truthfully, that being in a parasocial relationship with Dan and Phil has been the most fun I’ve ever had.

Destiny Torres is an opinion writer. Contact her at [email protected]