I can’t believe the end of my first year of college is already here.

Within the next couple of years, I’ll buy my first apartment and apply for my first full-time job. Sometimes, when I think about it too hard, it scares me. 

As I get older and older, it feels like the years go by faster and faster.

I’ll blink, and a whole month will be gone, and I have nothing to show for it. At the same time, I think back on memories from high school, and they are an eternity away. A butterfly will flutter beside me as I walk to my next lecture, and suddenly I’m back in my six-year-old body running around my front yard, trying to catch the small-winged creatures that seemed so much more magical back then.

I stay awake at night reflecting on how much I’ve changed.

How the person I was when I was six would look at who I was when I was 13 and question what went wrong. How 13-year-old me would look at the person I am now and be so surprised that Mom was right and things did get better.

It feels impossible every phase of my life has created the person I am today — how I am every single version of myself at once while also being nothing like who I was before.

Each time in my life I feel like I have everything figured out, something (or someone) happens that transforms my view of the world. I’ve experienced so many different people, and each person has given me a lesson or value that has fundamentally changed me. 

Isn’t it strange how humans are? Our souls and minds are so interconnected with each other that we can essentially steal or take away a part of another human’s soul and add it to our own. The people we meet change us at a deeper level than we will ever understand. It’s almost magic.

I’ve been given so many second chances and I have learned so much as I’ve grown. I didn’t do anything to be given the opportunities I have. I don’t deserve the people around me who have helped me, held me and healed me throughout my life. 

There never seem to be words or actions that could show just how much the thousands of people who have affected me mean to me. I know I will spend the rest of my life trying to pay back the never-ending debt of good deeds that I have been blessed with.

I stand on the summit of a hill I’ve been climbing my whole life and pause to see what lies before me. I’m so high up that it’s hard to make out each little detail of the journey below. Some parts are covered by trees and others are covered by great bodies of water that are too deep to see through.

But I can also see a breathtaking waterfall and can just make out a beach where the sand is white and the water is clear. 

It’s easy to get intimidated or nervous at the path before me, but just as I debate turning back around, a hand is placed on my shoulder and a bird flies overhead. Many have completed this path before me, but I know I don’t have to face it alone. Without a doubt, I will struggle, but I’ll see so many beautiful things on the way, it will be hard to care. I can reminisce on the beginning of my journey when things seem so easy while also having my eyes set forward because exploring the unknown is the only way to learn. 

Growing up is a hard and daunting task, but it is unavoidable. Everything around us is changing all the time and all we can do is put the change into the world that we want to see. You affect every person you talk to, so use your power for good. 

You matter in this world, whether you want to or not.

And even when butterflies lose their magic over time, a life full of new experiences doesn’t.

Hannah Bulgrin is an opinion writer. Contact her at [email protected].