Times sure are strange. The creeping vine of history wound around the podium at the Russia-U.S. summit in Helsinki, Finland, on July 16. President Donald Trump and Russia’s Vladimir Putin stood side by side, taking part in what many called a sly power move over the United States. Since, both defense and criticism of the meeting has been high, some arguing that the country doesn’t need more enemies, while others declaring it “open treason.”

And… Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande are in love! You guys, seriously! Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are giving each other family heirlooms! They’re posting pictures of themselves together. Pete Davidson got a tattoo of her, you guys! Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Okay. Deep breath.

The symbolic gift of a soccer ball, the front of easy familiarity. It even has those in Trump’s own party reeling. According to the Washington Post, a “growing number” of Republicans are asking the president to address Russian involvement in the 2016 U.S. election, even though Trump declared that there was “no reason” for such a thing to have occured.

And…. you guys… Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson ate at a vegan restaurant. Pete Davidson licked Ariana Grande’s face. They’re kissing while shopping! They’re wearing designer clothes! Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are going to get married and no one can stop talking about them because they’re young, hot and in love! Nothing could be more important! Nothing could–

Wow, what happened? It’s almost as if I blacked out.

I just keep forgetting what I’m writing about. Sorry about that. It must be something really important for me to keep giving into it. Truly, I apologize. Let’s just try our best to finish this out, okay? I know there was something I was going to say… oh, yeah. Accusations of treason, not Manchester joke controversy.

I mean, I don’t understand how we could get so distracted. The news cycle is so focused. Let’s give this one more try.

Trump and Putin… Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson… ack, it’s blending together! Pete Davidson’s recent summit with Trump showcased the conflicting attitudes toward Russian relations with Ariana Grande… uh oh. I don’t think this is going to work.

Well, hey, look. At least I gave you an overview of both equally important historical events, right? Save that one for the AP US History test. You’ll thank me later.

 Cameron Gorman is an opinion columnist. Reach her at [email protected]