A few weeks ago, I wrote about what graduation means to me and how I’m terrified to leave college. That’s changed since.

I’m still terrified, but I also have a sense of excitement. I’m free to do whatever the hell I want. If I want to keep working in Kent for the rest of my life, I can.

There’s no way in hell I’ll do that, but it’s an option.

If I want to leave the country and work the ski lifts in Switzerland, I can. Again, that’s not the path I’m looking down, but it’s the freedom in the action that’s exciting.

The irony I find in that, though, is how oppressing freedom can be. You have so many options and you can do whatever you want, but that almost paralyzes you into a state of confusion. What if you choose incorrectly?

So that got me thinking — seeing that December graduation is upon us, I started reflecting on where I was a year ago. I was in a much different place, both emotionally and mentally.

It’s strange to think about where your mindset was a year ago and what your plans were.

Last year I was snowed in my apartment for a week staring at my exam reviews with zero motivation to get out of bed. With a spring semester in Europe to look forward to, finals seemed so miniscule in the scheme of things.

All I wanted to do was get out of the country. I had spring semester of my junior year, and then senior year to look forward to. Everything was so easy and planned out.

This year, I’m staring at my exam reviews with motivation to finish. While I’m sad that this is my last fall semester, I’m excited to think about how I’ll spend my last few months here. Well, and the summer (maybe) because my lease isn’t up until August.

Now, I have only two finals to dominate (hopefully) until my last fall semester at Kent State is over. I have one more semester left and college is over.

Instead of facing repetitive decisions, like what classes to take next fall, I’ll be facing “Welcome to Adulthood” celebration cakes and endless hours of Google job searching and resume sending.

So many people are always saying life isn’t easy, and get over it, you fool, but it’s a panicked feeling when you finally realize what they mean.

I’ve heard some friends graduating this month say things like, “Whoa, this is weird. I’m graduating,” or “This is such a strange feeling.”

That’ll be me in five to six months.