No. 2 would have to be the cool people who make sure a Natty Light or High Life or some other cheap beer is in every picture with them. We get it, you like your cheap beer because it’s “cool” to like cheap beer. Exhibit A:  Hipsters and Pabst. Don’t drink cheap beer because it’s cool. Drink it because it’s cheap. No one really likes how it tastes. We just get used to it. A cheap beer can isn’t a trophy to show off on Facebook.

No. 3 comes from my friend again. Basically, it’s when a girl you knew from high school (or is still in high school) gets pregnant and then every post is a status or photo regarding the child. While I’m glad you didn’t choose an abortion, I don’t mind if you put a few pictures up of your “bump,” and I’m sure your new kid is the best thing in your life, don’t act like your pregnancy was planned. Sure, the kid may be a happy accident, but don’t use Facebook to make it seem like that’s what you wanted all along.

Number four is a call for attention by disguising an accomplishment as a crippling problem. I was almost tempted into it last night. I could’ve written, “Just finished two hours of STATA coding.  Talk about tedious.”

In reality, I would’ve been saying, “Ask me what STATA is. I’m really good at a specialized statistics program used in my class. I’m going to grad school for free and getting paid on top of that, but I want to complain about one bump in the road.”

In reality, I’ve been using STATA for years. Who wouldn’t be proficient at it over time? No kidding grad school isn’t easy, but I’ve got it pretty good.

In conclusion, just don’t do the above four things when using Facebook. Society thanks you.