Kick returner: Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

There’s another fella’ in Chicago who’s game would be exactly like Rose’s on the gridiron — Devin Hester. Rose is the NBA’s Hester — lightning fast, quick and an instant game changer. Rose in the open field would be a sight to see. With no basketball holding him back, he’d be relying on pure athletic ability. Which is scary because the ball doesn’t hold any of that back on the court.

Cornerback: Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics

Couldn’t you see this sneaky little sucker picking off quarterbacks the way he steals passes on the hardwood? He has the build (6 foot 1 inch, 171 pounds) and go-go gadget arms, plus ridiculous foot speed. Backpedaling shouldn’t be a problem for him, but if all else fails, he can just extend his arm and tap the ball away.

Kicker: Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

Remember the kick from “The Replacements”? Hit up YouTube, you’ll see the resemblance.

Cheerleaders: Chris Bosh, Miami Heat; Kris Humphries, New Jersey Nets

No NFL team can survive without cheerleaders — and that’s what these two do best. Bosh is the third wheel to the most prolific tandem in the NBA. He’s a whiner, looks like a praying mantis, and serves as great moral support. Humphries is used to the spotlight — from his wife, Kim “Ray J” Kardashian. The guy talks like a gentle giant, is about as ditsy as his in-laws, and would make for a perfect pom-pom pumping cheerleader. Bring the whole fam, too, Kris.