Monday was a big night for television, but it was a little more important for Charlie Sheen. Monday was the showing of Sheen’s Comedy Central Roast. And if that isn’t big enough, they coincidentally scheduled it for the same night as the season premiere of “Two and a Half Men,” Sheen’s old show. This episode was the first episode to feature Ashton Kutcher as Sheen’s replacement.

First up in the night was “Two and a Half Men.” Creator Chuck Lorre handled the first episode without Sheen very tastefully by having his character killed by a train. Then Lorre seemed to be shoving his success in Sheen’s face by having a ton of cameo appearances from his past successful sitcoms.

That’s right. Lorre considers “Dharma and Greg” a success.

It seemed like the show might be different this time around. Kutcher’s character was introduced as an Internet billionaire interested in buying Charlie’s old house. He wasn’t even the typically annoying Kutcher. But the episode ended with Kutcher banging some cheap floozies, and we were quickly back to normal.

Sheen fought back at the “Two and a Half Men” premiere by being insulted on television, a respectable route to take. The roast went pretty much exactly as I had planned, funny up until Sheen spoke at the end.

Rather than being vulgar, racist and fun like everyone else, Sheen gave a heartfelt speech and stated that he was no longer winning because he had already won. Which is great because now my Sheen “Winning” poster is worthless. Thanks a lot.

The rest of the show was good though. There was some drama when comedian Amy Schumer made a joke directed towards Steve-O about the death of Ryan Dunn. Steve-O was visibly upset about this joke. I didn’t find the joke offensive, just not funny.

Who invited Steve-O to this event anyway? He went on and on about how he wanted a career beyond hurting himself, and then proceeded to punch Mike Tyson’s fist with his face.

Schumer was probably the best performance of the night. There was a perfect blend of racism, bad taste and cleavage. She’s been especially hilarious considering the fact that she is a woman. Maybe that’s why she stood out so much. It’s sort of like a guy with no legs being good at walking.

In the end “Two and a Half Men” set a record high with 28.7 million viewers. I’m sure many of those viewers were like me and only watched it with hopes of insulting it later on Twitter, but it’s still an impressive number.

Sheen’s roast set a record for Comedy Central Roasts with 6.4 million viewers. But still, that’s 22 million less people. That’s like if every viewer of “Two and a Half Men” tuned into the roast shortly after, except for the entire state of Texas. That’s a big difference.

So who’s winning now? Kutcher makes less money on the show than Sheen made, but at least he’s getting a paycheck. However, Sheen managed to turn that publicity nightmare around and end his career on a good note. Plus, he isn’t married to a 48-year-old. Winning!

Contact Dylan Lusk at [email protected].