Women saying they don’t like nice guys is like peeing in the shower: just about everyone does it, but no one wants to admit it. Due to space constraints, I cannot go into detail about everything I write about. When I wrote last week about being the strong, silent type, I was advising not to get too far ahead of yourself. Don’t open your mouth too much in the beginning and put your foot in it. Don’t be a softie; let your feelings come out for the girl you like in time. The main point of last week was that: Girls don’t like doormats; that is absolutely true.

Some of you ladies who read last week’s column missed my point, because you were madder than Hillary Clinton stuck inside of a tax-cut rally. I felt like I was Archie Bunker unintentionally bumping into Gloria Steinem on the street. I was ready to dial up the Witness Protection Program.

Many women across this campus suffer from a bad case of what I like to call “19-Year-Old Girl Syndrome.” No matter where they are, they’re almost always under the false pretense that every guy in the room wants to sleep with them. Why this is, I don’t know. To me, there’s nothing worse than some average-looking girl who thinks she has the swagger of a runway model.

When you’re dealing with the young ones, typically ages 18-19, you have to be kind of mean. Do not compliment them. You can’t be a pushover. Young women take kindness for weakness. If you give her a compliment, she will think that you have bad intentions. Most likely she will lose interest in you. Learn from my mistakes.

Once you start dealing with older women, you can start being nice. But give the young ones who walk around campus with a mug that would make a UFC fighter blush a taste of their own medicine. Beauty is only skin-deep. Let her earn the right to be hit on. There’s no point in being with a woman, no matter how good-looking she is if she has the personality of a dead moth.

In a lot of instances, many of the girls you want to date will already have a boyfriend. As they say, women are sometimes like parking spaces: All of the good ones are taken, and the only open ones are handicapped. But that’s OK. You’ve got to get one thing in your mind if you haven’t already, and that is: Don’t feel guilty or feel bad for hitting on or trying to get with girls who already have boyfriends.

Some girls just hate being single. They don’t always take their relationships as seriously as they should. A lot of ladies out there have not yet learned how to be emotionally independent, and even if they are unhappy, they will stay with their boyfriend until something better comes along. It’s a jungle out there. Sometimes you’ve got to steal the best ones away, but disregard this advice if that boyfriend is a Kent State offensive lineman.