Seasonique commercials crack me up. The official tagline is “Who says you have to have 12 periods a year?” This form of birth control promises only four periods a year with “Who says?!” punctuating every fact and risk of this pill.

Mother Nature says, ladies. That’s who.

Re-wiring the female body in this way isn’t healthy, especially when most of the commercial is spent listing all the dangers and side effects, instead of the actual benefits. It goes without saying that missing your period is one of the tell-tale signs you might be pregnant. I hate that time of the month just as much as every other woman on the planet, but that’s how nature works. It’s how God designed the female body. Using man-made technology to alter the body to become something it’s not is a recipe for unintended consequences that can shorten the lifespan rather than improve it.

The biological purpose of sex is to produce children; the fact that it feels good is a bonus. It seems silly to me that women go through all that trouble to reverse the body’s natural process and put themselves at risk for blood clots, infections and serious life-threatening illnesses to avoid a pregnancy. The pill has, although unintentionally, made children out to be an unfortunate side effect of sex rather than the intended purpose. This attitude splits families instead of making them stronger.

Many years ago, I overheard at summer camp that two Jewish kids were plotting a scientific revolution to create a genetically modified breed of kosher pigs so Jews could enjoy the luxury of bacon. It sounds silly, doesn’t it? A “genetically modified” kosher pig is impossible because it wouldn’t be a real pig then, would it? In the same way, it’s ridiculous to try to “modify” the female body to not get pregnant as a result of sex because that would completely change how the female body is supposed to operate, whereas condoms just contain fluids and don’t alter the male body whatsoever. I’m not suggesting that all women are good for is producing children, but from a biological standpoint, this is why we have breasts, wide hips, a birth canal, etc.

While my view of birth control is mostly negative, I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about the use of all forms of contraceptives in all circumstances. If a person feels like they would make a horrible parent, then it would make more sense to take preventive measures to avoid getting pregnant rather than bring an unwanted child into the world. There is also the fact that I am against abortion and well aware that the use of birth control prevents the desire for abortions. Let’s not kid ourselves; it’s not like a baby hasn’t ever been born when a couple uses birth control. In the end, nature always wins. We can try to outsmart it, but we can’t defeat it. The best we can do is be more responsible with our sexual choices, whether that means abstaining for a time, waiting until one is ready for parenthood, or using other forms of birth control that don’t have a laundry list of negative side effects. Shortening one’s lifespan for a good time isn’t worth it.

SarahBeth Caplin is a senior English major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].