With millions of Americans out of work, uninsured and struggling to get by, what was most of this country glued to last Friday at about 11:30 a.m.? No, not the Price is Right, but rather a billionaire, pompous ass who hits a golf ball and sleeps around on the weekends.

In the grand scheme of things, Tiger Woods’ extramarital issues pale in comparison to the problems facing everyday, average Americans. But since we live in society that worships celebrities like gods and revels in their missteps, Woods is as culturally important as health care reform. Only in America!

Woods cannot seriously look himself in the mirror and say he’s sorry for what he’s done with a straight face. But what he can say with a straight face is he’s sorry he got caught. If we didn’t live in a world with media outlets dedicated to celebrity news publications willing to pay six figures for cell phone messages and people willing to talk about sleeping with a married man to the highest bidder, Woods would still be living a double life without a care in the world.

As for Woods’ 13 minute and 29 second apology sideshow last Friday, it came three months too late and was without a doubt staged and at times was as painful to watch as a George W. Bush press conference.

If Woods was at all interested in saving his marriage and rebuilding his image, he should have addressed the situation as soon as it happened instead of living in secrecy for months while his mistresses came out of the woodwork, bringing even more embarrassment to his loved ones.

Now the part of Woods’ press conference that bothered me the most was when he reprimanded the media for following his children to school. I understand that celebrities want privacy for their family members, but in this case Tiger Woods brought this on himself and should blame no one but himself. If he really cared about his kids’ privacy, he’d be home with them instead of in one of his many mistresses’ beds.

Woods also put many parents in this country in the uncomfortable position of explaining to their children, who may not be ready for that type of conversation, that one of their many idols has cheated on his wife.

If Tiger Woods doesn’t want the media attention brought on by his celebrity and his actions, he should do the following: Quit golf, give back all the money from tournaments and endorsement deals, get a full-time job (if he could find one), and a play a round or two with his friends on the weekends. Then he’ll know what it’s like for the rest of us.

Contact assistant sports editor

Randy Ziemnik

at [email protected].