Sextoberfest talks sex with Sue
October 23, 2008
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to spend about an hour and a half talking about my favorite subject.”
Sue Johanson, last night’s Sextoberfest speaker, proclaimed this to a screaming crowd of students in the Student Center Ballroom.
Johanson, host of “Talk Sex with Sue Johanson,” gave students tips to arouse their partners, exploited some myths about sex and gave information about “safer sex,” all mixed in with a few laughs. Johanson delivered the message about the lack of sexual education parents give their children. She said from birth people are all taught that feeling sexual is bad.
“When a baby boy is born, it takes the little guy about five minutes to discover his penis,” she said. “It takes him another five minutes to discover ‘oh, that feels good’ when he touches it. We as parents yell at him and make him think that ‘Mumsy does not like me playing with my weenie.'”
Johanson said negative reinforcement does not stop boys. She said it is the girls that are affected by the things parents say.
“Girls get two more messages than boys get,” she said. “Nice girls don’t touch their genitals, nice girls don’t look at their genitals.”
Johanson said it is those messages that hinder a girl’s sexuality as she grows up.
“We usually give up on the boys. While my son is learning and exploring himself as a sexual human being, my daughters don’t get to do that,” she said.
Lack of sexual knowledge causes people to have unrealistic expectations of sex and orgasms, Johanson said. Most females do not have their first orgasm by having sex, but they have it by “doing it themselves.”
“We as adult females are responsible for our own sexual satisfaction,” she said. “To dump it on our partners is unfair.”
Johanson gave the guys in the crowd important information about the female orgasm.
“Orgasms happen very occasionally,” she said. “If she says she is fine, then she is fine. If she orgasms, you will know and you will have the bruises to prove it.”
Johanson said the mood needs to be perfect for either partner to reach their sexual peak.
“For me, I need to hear five things: ‘I love you,’ ‘I need you,’ ‘I want you,’ ‘Baby, you’re the greatest’ and ‘I will never leave you,'” she said.
Along with the advice, Johanson warned the students about one of the most dangerous activities, anal sex. She said 10 percent of the questions she receives are about anal sex. Anal sex is something both partners should feel comfortable with and informed about before they try it. On Johanson’s Web site, http://talksexwithsue.com, there is a three page printout with instructions for anal sex.
“I want you and your partner to read it out loud together,” she said. “Then you will be informed and can make a decision on whether or not you want to do it.”
While the ballroom was full of students eager to hear Johanson, some were not as lucky to hear her advice and were shut out. The crowd students were not happy with the venue chosen for such a big-name speaker.
“Obviously, she is a huge name, so they should have expected this,” said Julie Lanz, junior marketing major. “We waited for an hour and ten minutes and didn’t get in. They should have regulated the line because some people showed up at the end and walked right in.”
Contact room and board reporter Cody Francis at [email protected].