I think eggs are really good.

Consumed ever since the earth’s first predator laid eyes on one, eggs have been a valuable source of protein for any species willing to eat one. Dinosaur eggs were eaten by other dinosaurs. T. rex ate Brontosaurus eggs, while saber-toothed tigers probably ate sea turtle eggs. These animals definitely had some taste. If only they knew what they were missing out on without a skillet, spatula and some cheese to slop all over the middle and fold over on a plate.

The best thing about eggs is their versatility. Eggs are right up there with potatoes and peanuts as food that can be used for a lot of purposes. For those who like fried chicken, eggs usually help bind the breading to the meat. Eggs also emulsify, which is a big word that basically means they help make mayonnaise possible. And who can forget that they can be fried, boiled, scrambled, hard-boiled, soft-boiled, etc.? Basically, these things can be cooked up in conjunction with however a certain hungry soul feels in the morning.

A sunny-side up egg and toast make any morning one to savor. This isn’t the kind of meal someone whips up before going to school at 9 a.m. This is the kind of breakfast people eat when they’re recovering from whatever happened on a Friday night and have absolutely nothing to do all day on Saturday. I’m not sure why some folks get grossed out when I soak up a piece of rye toast in some barely cooked, unfertilized chicken guts, but look, at least I’m saving them some time at rinsing off the dishes. Not only that, but if there doesn’t happen to be any butter or jelly left in the fridge, I believe egg goo makes a pretty fine condiment.

My dad always used to cook some bacon first in an iron skillet, then fry the eggs in a little bit of leftover bacon grease for some extra flavor. With a really good skillet, the range heat can just be turned off, and the pan should stay hot enough to get the job done. After all, eggs can be cooked at a relatively low temperature, and it’s too easy to overcook and burn a perfectly good omelet. The best ones are light and fluffy.

More than anything else that can be made with eggs, I love omelets. The perfect omelet requires at least five eggs, scrambled up with a few tablespoons of milk to give it that fluffiness I just mentioned. Personally, I think the proper way to make one is to put all the ingredients on top of a lightly cooked, flat scrambled egg, then fold it over. When everything gets mixed together like a tossed salad, it all just seems to lose most of the taste. Oh, and don’t forget the cheese.

Make it Swiss.

In conclusion, while chicken eggs are the ones normally found at the supermarket and inside an Egg McMuffin or one of those Shmagelz from Sheetz, sometimes I wonder what other types taste like. How big of an omelet can be made with an ostrich egg? What would that look like over easy? All that and more is just something to think about while chowing down on a large, plump, hard-boiled egg.

Garrison Ebie is a senior electronic media production major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. He probably ate eggs this morning. Contact him [email protected].