Since I’m busier than a one-armed paper hanger, this week I’m giving my dear readership a mere smattering of the many questions/thoughts I’ve had on my mind recently – enjoy!

• Why aren’t there guidebooks for the truly important stuff in life? I mean, there are all sorts of books on how to re-tile your bathroom floor, but I have yet to come across anything that tells you what to do if you crap yourself while at work. I know, that seems like a bizarre thing to put out there, but in the last few weeks I’ve heard several stories along this theme. Apparently it happens more often than what you might think. I really don’t know what I would do.if anyone has suggestions, please e-mail me.

• I love the show “Cheaters,” and I look forward to it every week. I wish it were on everyday, like “Dr. Phil” and “Oprah.” Speaking of Dr. Phil and Oprah – I do not love them. Who the heck do they think they are? Oprah needs to shut her self-absorbed pie-hole. Every time I watch her show, she’s essentially talking about how great she is, “benevolently” giving away her favorite type of croissant to the lowly underlings in her audience, who then slavishly worship her. And Dr. Phil? He’s been divorced, and his son married a porn star. He sounds more like a guest on “Springer” than someone who should dispense advice to the masses. Give me Joey Greco, the host of “Cheaters,” any day.

• I love to smell good, but every time I find a perfume I enjoy, it’s either a limited edition, or gets discontinued. I adored Imagine Peace by Bath and Body Works, but of course, it is no more. Unfortunately, it seems like the current trend in fragrance is either a) aroma of fake Hostess cupcake or b) eau de grape Flintstone vitamin.

• The United States rocks. People can say what they want about the United States, but the truth is it’s an awesome place to live. Think about it – capitalism, freedom of speech, 24-hour access to chocolate – I could go on and on. I am so, so tired of hearing people bash our country. I don’t think the nation is perfect or I am perfect because I live here, but I’m smart enough to recognize it’s just about ten times better than the alternatives. I’d really love to see some of these mental giants who constantly slam the United States go live in sub-Saharan Africa where female genital mutilation continues to be an accepted practice, or take a vacation to places in South America where cholera and slavery still exist.

• If I hear the word “amazing” used one more time to describe items such as fast-food tacos or ankle socks, I am going to scream. This seems to be the word du jour in the 18- to 25-year-old age bracket, and it couldn’t be more annoying. It makes you sound like you seriously need to open a thesaurus and grow a brain.

Sarah Baldwin is a graduate public relations student and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].