Band-Aids.

One more will do.

Open from the side, pull out the plastic, take off the strips. Apply. Rinse. Repeat.

So many Band-Aids, but the blood will continue pumping. Pretty soon there will be too many Band-Aids; you won’t even know where your heart was at one time.

Lost. Trapped.

Isolated in your tiny room. In this tiny place. With these tiny people.

It’s like you’re in a vice. It’s closing in. Until you think you are ready to burst.

The elevator keeps going down.

Happiness is relative, and dreaming makes you tired.

It’s like patching that hole in your jeans. You keep fixing it. You keep denying it is there. You even try to dress it up with polka dots or peace signs.

But the hole? It’s still there. It’s intact, waiting, planning to destroy your day, your life when the patch finally falls off.

“It will get better. Your strength will come back.”

Believe them, you say. But it’s impossible. They can never understand. They never will. Your love is here, but so misconstrued, no one will ever understand. Misunderstood.

Jagged and jaded. Alone and suffering.

Thoughts race through you, consuming your mind, your heart, your blood, your veins.

Nothing is what it seems and no one is who they say they are.

Their hearts are clear as glass, and yours is mucked.

Colors aren’t as bright, and nothing seems real – only what you feel. All you see ahead is black, and you can’t stop the waves from coming.

You want to talk about it, but you keep it locked up. Pretty soon you’ll lose the key.

What once seemed possible is suddenly hopeless. Your energy is gone and nothing really matters. You feel so guilty, and everything’s your fault.

Isolation seems like all that will work. You don’t want anyone to see you this way. Starving yourself works. No food, no friends, no love. Sadness consumes you.

It’s what affects approximately 7 million women in the United States. It’s what between 13 million and 14 million people will experience in a given year.

According to a 2004 survey by the American College Health Association, nearly half of all college students report feeling this so much that at some point in time they had trouble functioning, and 14.9 percent met the criteria for clinical depression.

National Depression Screening Day, sponsored by Psychological Services, is on Oct. 6 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on the second floor of the Student Center.

Depression. (330) 672-2208. Talk about it.

Jackie Mantey is a junior magazine journalism major and assistant Forum page editor of the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].