Travelers’ last-minute tips for rendezvous

When packing your necessities for spring break, don’t forget to include condoms and your Cosmo, of course.

Credit: Andrew popik

Ah, spring break. Time for hot tubs and hookups. But not so fast there. You need to remember a few things before you pack up and ship out to whatever sunny, or Ohio, locale you’re headed off.

First for those lonely souls staying in the Kent area, beware of empty houses, apartments and residence halls.

During the semester you might feel safe (whether you really are or not is for another column) going back to somebody’s apartment or house because you know his roommate, his fraternity brothers or his resident assistant, who is going to be right down the hall.

Well, not during break.

Houses, residence halls and apartment buildings can be free and clear of people, so if you’re planning a spring break encounter with someone you just met, be careful. Meet out somewhere instead of going to his place. Go to your place, but ask your roommate to give you a little privacy. Just be careful where you go and who you’re going with.

Also, watch out for exes.

Lots of couples reunite during the break, which can be great, but keep away from evil, toxic exes. For instance, you’re planning a night out with friends from home. He or she, the dreaded ex, is going to be there.

You a) make yourself so nervous you throw up and end up staying in bed, b) go and ignore him or her or c) go and enjoy your other friends and, if possible, be civil to your former other half.

Option “C” is usually a good choice, but be sure to steer clear of his or her seductive ways if you must talk to each other. Sex with an ex can be emotionally dangerous if you don’t have enough distance to handle it. And sometimes, even if you think you do have enough distance.

You may face a whole different set of problems if you’re going away for the break.

If you’re going somewhere warm, take me with you.

Also if you’re going somewhere warm, wear sunscreen. Sunburn plus sex equals agony with no ecstasy.

Another thing that figures prominently in spring break is alcohol. If you’re going to be drinking, you, of course, need to be careful not to let your lack of inhibitions do something you’ll regret afterwards. This can range from sleeping with that nasty bartender in a Speedo to stripping on top of the bar on a dare. Remember that in this digital age, all of this could easily be captured on someone’s camera phone and sent to your parents, your significant other or … well … anyone.

Besides that, there’s a good chance you’ll be drinking with people you don’t know that well. You know, those new “friends” you always seem to make when you’ve been hanging out with Jose and Jack all night and all of a sudden you love everyone? Well, those may not be your friends.

So although you’ve heard this a gazillion times, don’t accept open drinks that have left your sight.

And while carousing with strangers, the same rule applies to you as does to those staying in Kent. Be careful where you go with these newfound friends of yours. As much as you like them, and think they’re dreamy, and as such would never hurt you, you don’t know that. So be careful and practice the buddy system.

As much as I hope you’re going to take these lessons to heart, I’m not that naïve. Hell, most of you are probably gone already. But if you’re reading, here’s one last tip: don’t forget to pack birth control. With all you horny kids running around, your vacation destination’s drugstores might be sold out.

Sarika Jagtiani is a graduate student in journalism and is the sex columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].