Nick Carter is the lead singer for the Backstreet Boys.

Credit: Seth Roy

Like one of their songs goes, “forever isn’t long enough.” Well, four years without the Backstreet Boys wasn’t nearly long enough.

Seriously, what is the purpose of the Backstreet Boys reuniting? Did A.J. McLean need more drug money? (Apparently not, since he announced at the concert he has been sober for over two years now.)

Speaking of A.J., the man is going bald. I think it’s about time they changed their name to “Rich, Balding, Creepy White Men.”

On the topic of creepy white men, isn’t Kevin Richardson pushing 40 now? And he’s still hanging around clubs with teenage women. And what was up with the suspenders he was wearing? They were so not cool!

Brian Littrell is still around too. And Howie Dorough. I can’t say anything bad about either of them. Brian goofed up a little during the show, but he had fun with it. And Howie was just kind of there.

Nick Carter, on the other hand, is a totally different story. It seems like since he got it on with Paris, he’s suddenly “the man.” He was definitely the most disturbing member of the group, grabbing himself more than a three-year-old boy who has to use the potty.

All of that being said, I actually enjoyed myself at the concert. The House of Blues is a great venue for concerts, and has a great sound system.

The place was totally packed with screaming females, and a few males too. Honestly, the group could have come on stage and told bad knock-knock jokes for two hours and still got cheered.

But they didn’t tell bad knock-knock jokes, they put on a darned good show.

Their dancing was top notch; their singing was actual singing, unlike other current pop stars. And the backing band was great as well.

The Backstreet Boys are charismatic and fun to watch; their songs are catchy and easy to sing along to, which always makes shows better.

And, yes, they played most, if not all, of their old hits, including “I Want It That Way,” “Quit Playing Games With My Heart,” “Shape Of My Heart” and “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back).”

They also played a good number of songs from their upcoming album, including their first single, “Incomplete.” From the new songs that they played, it seems like they are taking a few risks and trying a few new things, including some rap and some rock. Some of it worked, but some didn’t. “Beautiful Woman” should be a highlight on the new album, as well as “Poster Girl.”

“‘Poster Girl’ is about a girl who likes to party,” A.J. said. “Who likes to get crazy. Nick, you know a girl who likes to party, right?”

“Not anymore, I don’t,” Nick replied with an obvious reference to his relationship with a certain hotel heiress.

Has seeing a Backstreet Boys concert turned me into a fan? No, not exactly.

Has it made me moderately respect the group? Moderately, only moderately.

Can they dance? Yes.

Am I envious? Yes.

Did they have a roomful of hundreds of females screaming for them at the top of their lungs? Yes.

Am I still envious? Yes.

Could I go the rest of my life without ever hearing another Backstreet song? Yes.

But, no matter what I think, “Backstreet’s back,” all right?

Oh man, I feel like such a pansy. I need to go listen to some hardcore or something. I have to get my manhood back. Where’s my The Used CD?

Contact Backstreet Wannabe Seth Roy at [email protected].