Monthly Kent Satire

Credit: Andrew popik

The Facebook: Most of us use it, and nearly everyone’s heard of it. Yet there are still hundreds — if not thousands — of students on Kent State’s campus who refuse to make profiles. Some people claim that it’s weird telling complete strangers their favorite movies. Others insist that the Facebook is just another tool for stalkers. And some even go so far as to say that it’s a stupid trend-of-the-week and a big waste of time. While these are all true and valid concerns, it’s obvious the real purpose of the facebook has been overlooked: to make everyone think you’re freaking awesome.

This is why I have prepared a short primer on how to fill out your Facebook profile and how to select the perfect photo. This way, you can accrue obese amounts of meaningless, Internet “friends” who will send you tens — if not hundreds — of annoying chain letters and comments.

If you follow my guidelines for filling out your Facebook profile (please also see my guide to choosing a Facebook photo), you’ll be sure to impress thousands of people who you’ll never meet.

– — Steve Schirra